My joke of the day

[TriniJuice]

I can't believe one black joke killed this thread!!!!! I figured trini would at least say something being that he has a good sence of humor

Wow people, It's called a stereotype and stereotypes ARE funny.........(maybe I'm wrong) lol

it would've been 10x funnier if the thread got closed and you had the last post

[Pinkbear]

Do you like fish sticks?

[Armedanddangerous]

it would've been 10x funnier if the thread got closed and you had the last post

Hahaha yep you're right, thanks for the save lol

[pee.you.em.pee]

lol good shit.

[snake]

Two guys, Tom and Pete who have been friends since childhood love the game of football. They played it together back in high school and as they got older would watch the games together; college games, pros, they even went to the local games. Both were in their later years and one day Tom asked Pete,” Do you think there’s football in heaven?” Pete said,” I hope so!” So they decided whoever goes first would try to contact the one left on earth with the answer.

Sadly one day Tom passed on. That night while Pete was just about to fall asleep, Tom appeared at the foot of his bed. Pete said,” I'm sorry you're gone Tom but can you answer the question about football in heaven?” Tom said,” Well Pete, I have good news and bad news; the good news is that there is truly football in heaven, the bad new is you scheduled to start on Sunday”

[Oldebull]

Did you hear about the 2 gay Irishmen?

Gerald Fitzpatrick and Patrick Fitzgerald.

[TriniJuice]

Here's a good one;
I don't steal wallets or purses

[Trauma RN]

LOL Funny funny

[AlphaD]

A little girl was puzzled as to her origin. "How did I get here, mummy?" Her mum said, using a well-worn phrase "The good Lord sent you". "And did Lord send you too, mummy?" "Yes, dear, He did". "And grandma and great grandma and daddy, too?" asked the little girl. Again the answer was "Yes". The child shook her head in disbelief. "Then you mean to tell me there has been no sex in this family for 200 years? No wonder everyone is so cranky!"

[snake]

^^That's my problem!^^

[stonetag]

So this young guy from back east (sorry guys) wanted to get away from it all so he moved out west to the middle of nowhere in Wyoming and bought a little land. A couple of years past with no human contact except getting supplies in town over 50 miles away. One day out in the back forty he heard someone yelling, he turned around and a man on a horse rode up, said hi and damn I didn't know I had a neighbor. Introduced himself and said he lived up over the hill and that he was having a big shindig Saturday night. The man said going to be a wild affair, lots of booze and dancing, the young man said sounds great haven't had a drink in a while and surely haven't danced. The man say's oh it's going to get crazy, lot's of hot slippery sex! The young guy's eye's got all wide and say's yes, goddamn I need to get laid! sounds like a big party the young man say's, who's all going to be there? The man say's so far just you and me son!

[lightweight]

Sounds like my Saturday night

[snake]

Two guys from Kentucky go to the auction; each buy a horse. Once done with their purchase, they get ready to load the horses up on the trailer when the one says to the other,” Hay I’ll put a notch in my horses ear so I know that my horse." The other guy replies, “Good idea, I’ll crop my horses tail a little so I know that’s my horse. As the auctioneer walks by he says, don’t do that to those poor horses! How about you take the white one and you take the black one?”

[AlphaD]

"Mum" he said "the other boys at school are using two words I don't understand. Can you tell me what they mean?" "Certainly" mum said. "What are they?"

"Pussy and bitch". Mum inhaled sharply, but recovered quickly. "Oh, that's easy" she said. "A pussy is a cat, like our little Chico. A bitch is a female dog, like our Sandy".

Craig thanked his mother, and ran out the door. But something about his mother's explanation bothered him. So he sought out his father. Dad was in the garage.

"Dad" Craig said "the guys at school are using words I don't understand". "What words, son?"

"Pussy and bitch. I asked mum, but I don't think she told me the right meanings". "Son, never ask your mother about these things. Ask me. Let me explain what they mean for you".

He pulled a Playboy from his workbench, turned to the centrefold and drew a circle around the pubic area.

"Everything inside the circle is pussy" he said. "Okay, Dad. Then what's a bitch?" "Everything outside the circle".

[Tren4Life]

So a thief breaks into a house in the middle of the night.
Shines his flashlight around the room and scopes out the big screen tv and the surround sound system in the corner. After making one trip to his car he decided to return to get the tv when he heard a voice say " Jesus is watching you" he turns out his flashlight and gets real still. Again " Jesus is watching you" so he turns his flashlight back on and shines it about do the room and he sees a parot in it's cage. Again " Jesus is watching you" the thief says what's your name parot? The parrot says " my name is Moses" the thief says what kind of people name a parrot Moses? Parrot says " the same kind of people the name a Rottweiler Jesus "

[DieYoungStrong]

A single mother is raising her son. As he gets older and becomes curious about girls, the mother tells him to watch out for women, and that their vaginas are lined with teeth, so he better not go poking around down there because he'll be sorry.

Years later, he is 30 and still a virgin, always fearful of women and their pussy teeth. He goes on a few dates with a nice girl, and she starts begging him for sex. He keeps telling her that he is not going to be fooled and bitten by her and her teeth.

Finally, she drops her pants and says, "Check it out for yourself, there aren't any teeth in my pussy!" The man has a look for himself, and says, "Ok, it's true that you don't have any teeth, but your gums are in real bad condition!"

[Get Some]

A husband comes home to find his wife with her suitcases packed in the living room. "Where the hell do you think you're going?" he says. "I'm going to Las Vegas. You can earn $400 for a blow job there, and I figured that I might as well earn money for what I do to you free."

The husband thinks for a moment, goes upstairs, and comes back down, with his suitcase packed as well. "Where do you think you going?" the wife asks. "I'm coming with you...I want to see how you survive on $800 a year!!!"

[LeanHerm]

Lmao we'll said gs.

[Iron1]

What's the difference between hockey players and hippie chicks?















Hockey players take a shower after 3 periods.

[Iron1]

"Give it to me" she yelled.
"I'm so fukking wet, give it to me now!"



She could yell all she wanted, I was keeping the umbrella.