Help treading lightly...

[Beedeezy]

So... My wife has been mentioning for a while now that she's unhappy with her weight. She will randomly say things like "ugh, I'm so fat"...
My wife is not fat, but does carry some fat in places she doesn't like. (I don't have any issue with her appearance, she does.) Like a good boy, I have expressed that I don't think she is fat (which is true). I have allowed her to self explore diet and try the things she thinks will work to make her happy with herself. I've also told her if she wants my help, I'm more than willing to give assistance but only if she wants it.
Today she sent me a text from work that read "If, I repeat IF I asked for your help to get my skinny on, what would you do?"
Responded with, better understanding of your macros per meal, weight training, and down the road a little maybe work in some cardio.

Question
1. She can not eat the same thing too frequently unlike me, any one have a cookbook/recipe option?
2. Time is limited, she works full-time and goes to school full-time. Is a short body part split like the one listed below enough work? I'd like to have her be able to get it done in 30 mins or less. Figure start slower so she doesn't get overwhelmed with the time constraint and quit.
Day 1- Squat, Ham curl, leg extensions 3x10-12
Day 2- Flat bench, OHP, Triceps 3x10-12
Day 3- Deadlift, Bicep, back 3x10-12
3. Is it good or bad to hold off on the cardio in the beginning. I was thinking its better to save the cardio for when the weight loss slows and use it sparingly so she doesn't constantly have to increase cardio.

I don't want to push to hard too fast, she does not share the desire to train like I do. At this stage in the game it will be a chore every time she has to workout, not something she longs to do like some of experience.

Any advice or revisions are greatly appreciated!

 

[tunafisherman]

where does she hold the extra weight that she wants to get rid of? My wife is more of hips, so I tell her to focus more on squats and lunges and work some cardio. If your wife has good arms, I would say relax on the bi's/tri's and work core/legs/problem areas or something like that. Also, swimming is a good workout that my wife likes...so yea.

I know it's all a calories in v. calories out thing for weight loss, but IMO it's easier for them to stick with something if they are "working" the areas they want to approve.

 

[ron1204]

i think first of all, to work out, eat right, and be consistent enough to see change, it has to be something you want to do. Everyone wants to see change on their body but very few people actually go out and do it. As long as she has that, she will learn a lot including how her body reacts to different work outs, different foods, cardio, etc.
for now u can do a somewhat generic plan for food and workout split.

First with food: I see shes very busy, its very difficult working full time, going to school full time and being able to work out, AND cook your own meals. If money isn't a factor, there are many meal plan sites out there that are healthy which will save u a lot of time. But for most of us, thats not the case.
I would recommend buying good in bulk and cooing in bulk and just putting it in Tupperwares ready to eat. It would be almost impossible for you guys to cook 4 or 5 meals a day.

As in working out: I dont see the logic too much in not doing cardio. Her weight training isnt going to be very intense, hence not burning many calories. I think doing cardio at this point will be more beneficial than so much weight training. You want to keep her motivated by seeing the scale go DOWN. By weight training too early on the scale might actually take a little longer to go down. Doesnt mean shes not losing fat, just means she is gaining some muscle, but she will just see it as no progress and might give up early on this. Just find different ways to keep her motivated. Cardio will help strengthen her lower body so when she starts she will be ready. Anyways, just a small example of what i would do in your case. Hope it helps.

 

[wallyd]

Dealing with same thing. I started my wife on 20 mins brisk pace on treadmill. Sometimes she will do the stairs instead. She was doing 45-60 treadmill & woukdnt listen when I told her that was too much. After cardio I split her body up into 3 days. Day 1 chest & delts. Day 2 chest & arms. Day 3 legs. 3 exercises for big muscle groups & 2 exercises for small muscle groups. Rep range 10-15. Sets were 3 per exercise except arms it was 2-3 depending on her attitude & time. Like you I didn't want to burn her out. Showed her how you can make a light weight feel heavier so she would worry more about form over the amount of weight she was lifting. Diet I kind of let her do her thing because I didn't want to burn her out. Occasionally if too many bad means starting popping up I would say something. She was doing really good but we had a set back & now I'm trying to get her back in the routine. Bottom line, make it as fun as possible & don't push too hard. They are not looking for the results most of us are looking for.

 

[bigdog]

did this with my wife! we are weight training now but the cardio in the beginning is what worked best for her.she lost weight and felt better so when we went into weights she was in a better state of mind.

 

[Beedeezy]

Diet is pretty good, she's not counting macros or anything. But she meal preps for me and herself, like I mentioned to this point I have just been in the back seat and let her do what she thought she needed. Sometimes you have to let them try for themselves and just wait for permission to help, if you get in too early they just get upset with you. She eats whole foods, plenty of fruits and veggies, to be honest I don't think she is eating enough but I won't know until 'we' start actually tracking her foods and see where she's at.

 

[thqmas]

Oh boy Beedeezy... You just fu*ked yourself real hard. That will turn into a hormonal tornado of destruction before you even notice.

Sorry Bro, can't help you, put your helmet, hold to it, bombardment is on its way.

 

[Beedeezy]

Oh boy Beedeezy... You just fu*ked yourself real hard. That will turn into a hormonal tornado of destruction before you even notice.

Sorry Bro, can't help you, put your helmet, hold to it, bombardment is on its way.

HAHA!
I'm not even sure she's going to truly want my help yet. I'm already backing down in my head what my initial approach will be. Think I will leave the diet alone for a month and see what changes happen, then address it when the time is right. I will give her the info i.e. do this exercise for set/reps and if cardio is implemented, go easy on the length of time/days. Beyond that she will have to ask for the extra's, if she sticks with it, natural progress will force her to ask questions. If she's doesn't stick with it, I go back into supporting whatever it is she decides to try. Honestly if she even goes at it half hearted in the beginning progress will be made because she does ZERO exercise right now.

 

[PillarofBalance]

Best advice is to not help her with diet and training. You will be sorry. Trust me. Dead serious

 

[Beedeezy]

Best advice is to not help her with diet and training. You will be sorry. Trust me. Dead serious

Ok, so give her your number?

 

[PillarofBalance]

Ok, so give her your number?

Lol... Wasn't a sales pitch. If you want I guess so. Anytime I have seen someone get involved in their wife's nutrition it ends badly. When she goes to eat those cookies she will feel guilt. Any movement you make will be regarded as hostile and she will act accordingly.

 

[Joliver]

Give out advice in steps. Don't overhaul. Chicks will beg for your help and then call you bossy for your efforts.

Diet>lifting>cardio

I'd tell her to cut out sugar. Most chicks can lose 10lbs this way. Or fail miserably....

 

[automatondan]

Hey brotha, I tried a couple years back with my wife coaching her and teaching form and program and it didnt go very well (surprise!)... So I just backed off and did my own thing, but offered help if she asked and then kept it short and sweet...

Recently, as my wife's body had been changing due to being pregnant, she has gotten motivated to come to the gym with me. What I did this time is told her to do some research and find some female trainer's program online that she likes and respects and I would look it over for her and add or subtract to the program if I thought it needed to change... She in turn, got excited because I was giving her "ownership" in creating/picking her own program and I was just there to make sure everything was kosher... So that might work for you guys, it might not... Just sharing my experience.

 

[Beedeezy]

Lol... Wasn't a sales pitch. If you want I guess so. Anytime I have seen someone get involved in their wife's nutrition it ends badly. When she goes to eat those cookies she will feel guilt. Any movement you make will be regarded as hostile and she will act accordingly.

I know you weren't giving me a pitch, she wouldn't allow you to help her anyways. She's to embarrassed to have someone she doesn't know coach her in any way. Not embarrassed about her appearance or fitness, just shy I guess.
I'm stuck at this point to be honest. I've had no intention of pressing her to let me help, but I did put it out there a while ago so if she wants it I've committed already. Like mentioned, nutrition will be a no fly zone until she gets serious (if she ever really does). I will simple tell her things she can do and the rest will be up to her. I'm not going to push her to workout, just simple give her what information I can offer.

 

[Beedeezy]

Give out advice in steps. Don't overhaul. Chicks will beg for your help and then call you bossy for your efforts.

Diet>lifting>cardio

I'd tell her to cut out sugar. Most chicks can lose 10lbs this way. Or fail miserably....

I don't even know where she could cut it from besides whole fruit. She doesn't like soda or candy and is the person who will say "it's too sweet" if you offer a bite of your deliciousness. Neither of us really eat sweets, the hardest I go in terms of sugar is pop-tarts intraworkout.

 

[snake]

Bee, my wife doesn't ask for nor do I give her advice on training or diet. You're stepping on the proverbial third rail here bud.

 

[nightster]

I'm not a beach body schill. But my wife had great results doing 10 min trainer, then 21 day fix. She likes 21 day fix because it has colored containers you use for portions, veggies in a red container, protein in blue...breakfast is 2 red and a blue as an example... she lost 65 +pounds in 6 months doing that.

 

[nightster]

The best of it all, is it is up to her... I just tell my wife, that it is her thing, and she needs to do whatever she thinks she needs to. Because of Course I think she's beautiful as she is.

 

[wallyd]

21 day fix worked for my wife too. Seems super simple with the color coded containers, not sure about the video.

 

[bvs]

Slip some clen into her morning coffee