Open Letter to Newbies

dk8594

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A lot of new members have crashed and burned lately. There have certainly been some trolls, who deserve a fiery demise, but I believe there are also some, who for one reason or another, get off on the wrong foot, get off balance, and are never able to right the ship. I’ve tried to articulate some of our unwritten rules/ norms to help the later group get a better start.

I didn’t get everything, but it’s a start. Please feel free to add.

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Open Letter to Newbies:

I’ve been a member of UGBB since 2012. When I first joined, I tripped on the door sill. I didn’t post an intro thread, peppered everyone with stupid question since I had just started TRT (“i.e. are injections better than cream”?), and feebly attempted to share the knowledge I had gained from 2 months of therapy, which, looking back, wasn’t much. Whether from pity or patience the members here tolerated me and, as years have passed, accepted me as one of their own. As someone who came in with a less than a grand entrance, I’ll offer some advice:


  • Introduce yourself, sit back, and chill. Observe how members interact with each other. Little things matter. If you go to a house party and everyone has taken off their shoes, don’t be the guy who keeps his boots on.
  • There is always someone smarter than you. If you have something that you just learned and are excited about, share it humbly. Be prepared to hear counterpoints. Don’t take it personally if someone has a different perspective.
  • Be thick skinned. Sarcasm doesn’t always come across well when it’s written. However, we all use it.
  • If you’re new, and you start talking about a product you use or a company you love, be prepared to be thought of as a troll with an agenda of drumming up sales. You won’t be taken seriously.
  • Check your ego at the door. You're here to learn and we want to help but an open mind and the ability to process constructive criticism is required. You won't gain anything by picking fights (Contributed by Iron1)
  • Don’t be a taker. Sure, ask questions, but also contribute. If you found this site you likely have experience with one or more things that interest us. Share what you’ve learned, what you’ve tried, what worked/ what didn’t work.
  • Realize that no one knows who you are. Treat your entry into this forum as if you just walked into a room of strangers. Manners, humility, and respect matter.
  • If you’re doing something that is ill advised be prepared to be called stupid. It doesn’t mean we question your IQ, it means we care enough to discourage you from doing it.
  • You don’t have to take all the advice you’re given. However, realize that someone took the time out of their day to give it to you so, if you decide not to follow it, provide your thinking and rationale.
  • Bro science doesn't go over well here. If you state something as factual, provide a link to a study or have personal experience.
  • A lot of the questions you have may have been asked before. Try using the search function (Contributed by POB)
  • This is not a source board, this is an educational forum. We share personal experiences and advice (Contributed by Motown)
  • Post up and make friends (Contributed by Yaya)
  • Read the rules; follow the rules. https://www.ugbodybuilding.com/threads/2511-Forum-Rules-sticky
 
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Jada

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Well put brother.
 

Beezy

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That first month part was very familiar.
I just hit my first year anniversary though, and still no intro :(

I’ll post one at my two year anniversary, when I know for sure that I want to keep getting nudes in my inbox from Jin.
 

Iron1

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  • If you're a dick to one of us; everyone is going to be a dick to you

Can we address this a little too? It's been on my mind for a while, now that that unspoken "rule" is put in black and white I decided to speak up.

Put yourself in the shoes of someone new. Does that line really sound like something from a welcoming community that you'd want to be a part of? Imo, we should not be advertising (or proud) that we are a community full of powder kegs looking for a spark. We should want people to feel welcomed here and not be fearful that their process of educating themselves is going to get them run out. It seems to me that there have been fewer posts lately than there have been in the past and I have a suspicion the hive mind hostility is contributing to that.

We've seen it countless times here, someone asks a stupid question, sarcastic responses start flying, OP gets frustrated and maybe a little out of line. Instead of us attempting to rise above and de-escalate the situation, OP gets absolutely annihilated never to return. Who would want to come back to contribute to a community like that? We all learn at different rates and sometimes finding out that you don’t know what you thought you knew can be frustrating. We were all in their shoes at one point or another.
 

PillarofBalance

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  • If you're a dick to one of us; everyone is going to be a dick to you

Can we address this a little too? It's been on my mind for a while, now that that unspoken "rule" is put in black and white I decided to speak up.

Put yourself in the shoes of someone new. Does that line really sound like something from a welcoming community that you'd want to be a part of? Imo, we should not be advertising (or proud) that we are a community full of powder kegs looking for a spark. We should want people to feel welcomed here and not be fearful that their process of educating themselves is going to get them run out. It seems to me that there have been fewer posts lately than there have been in the past and I have a suspicion the hive mind hostility is contributing to that.

We've seen it countless times here, someone asks a stupid question, sarcastic responses start flying, OP gets frustrated and maybe a little out of line. Instead of us attempting to rise above and de-escalate the situation, OP gets absolutely annihilated never to return. Who would want to come back to contribute to a community like that? We all learn at different rates and sometimes finding out that you don’t know what you thought you knew can be frustrating. We were all in their shoes at one point or another.

I agree with this however there have been more than a handful of individuals who come here and post I am 12 doing my first cycle don't tell me what I don't want to hear. Inevitably someone says you shouldn't cycle and the OP tells them to **** off in some form. That's when it gets nuts.
 

Iron1

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I agree with this however there have been more than a handful of individuals who come here and post I am 12 doing my first cycle don't tell me what I don't want to hear. Inevitably someone says you shouldn't cycle and the OP tells them to **** off in some form. That's when it gets nuts.


I agree. There are always exceptions that warrant special treatment but it shouldn't be our one-size-fits-all reaction.

Thank you for hearing me out.
 

Beezy

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I agree with this however there have been more than a handful of individuals who come here and post I am 12 doing my first cycle don't tell me what I don't want to hear. Inevitably someone says you shouldn't cycle and the OP tells them to **** off in some form. That's when it gets nuts.

That’s when it gets fun!
Can we really have no fun at the occasional high school freshman’s expense?
If they take the beating and stay anyway they usually end up being cool, active members.
 

dk8594

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  • If you're a dick to one of us; everyone is going to be a dick to you

Can we address this a little too? It's been on my mind for a while, now that that unspoken "rule" is put in black and white I decided to speak up.

Put yourself in the shoes of someone new. Does that line really sound like something from a welcoming community that you'd want to be a part of? Imo, we should not be advertising (or proud) that we are a community full of powder kegs looking for a spark. We should want people to feel welcomed here and not be fearful that their process of educating themselves is going to get them run out. It seems to me that there have been fewer posts lately than there have been in the past and I have a suspicion the hive mind hostility is contributing to that.

We've seen it countless times here, someone asks a stupid question, sarcastic responses start flying, OP gets frustrated and maybe a little out of line. Instead of us attempting to rise above and de-escalate the situation, OP gets absolutely annihilated never to return. Who would want to come back to contribute to a community like that? We all learn at different rates and sometimes finding out that you don’t know what you thought you knew can be frustrating. We were all in their shoes at one point or another.

This is a good discussion and I like where you're going with it. My intent in listing it wasn't that it's a rule we should all follow or something we should all be proud of. My intent was to convey that we're a close knit group and how they treat one member forms an impression in the other members' minds about them as an individual and will impact how they're treated in return.

It was meant as a caution; not a threat. If you think it reads like the later let me know. I think we both agree that we want this to be a welcome place for newbies.

By the way, Iron, your PMs are full.
 
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BigSwolePump

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I remember when I posted something similar...lol

The difference is that your post is much more reserved.


Well put!
 

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