'Cool Sculpting' - WTF have I gotten myself into?

NbleSavage

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Cheers, all.

So the Lasses at the home site where I work tend to take a shine to me in a 'mascot' sort of way. I work in the yard with labor teams, keep things sorted for the Bosses and make sure the teams are respectful to 'em. I always go out of me way to have a smile for the ladies in the office and they get a rise out of my accent and checking out my bum - makes me smile. They've in the past done some nice things for me as well, such as a case of some sort of sparkling protein water drink which they'd been toying with as they're all overly concerned with their figures & they tend to like me to act as they're 'guinea pig' for new products & such. I don't mind, makes me smile.

This time, they've got a bloke who opened a new spa a few miles from the work site and who does something called 'Cool Sculpting'. He showed up on the work site yesterday, fliers in hand and talking fast to these ladies about how he'd 'freeze away their love handles' & some such bullox. The Lasses were of course taken, but after hearing how it hurts a bit they got timid. One of 'em came to get me from the yard and asked if I'd be willing to give it a go. The spa bloke read the room and immediately started focusing his pitch on me, how I'm the ideal candidate as I'm already lean (I wear a 33" waist at just shy of 1.9 meters tall) and how he'd do me for free and let the Lasses watch...

I've not yet had the chance to research this sham, and I told 'em straight away that if he comes at me with a knife or tries to put me under that I'd permanently damage 'im (the Lasses loved that) but he's in sales mode and all smiles. Said its some sort of suction attachment that 'ed clip to me waist and how it'd freeze any fat cells 'neath it which I'd then piss out afterwards.

Wanting to be a good sport, I said ye, the Lasses are all in a buzz now and we're supposed to go to his place in a week after hours.

WTF have I signed on for exactly? I'm expecting this to be another 'avocado toast' type trend that comes on an fizzles out with no real impact. Anyone heard of this thing before? Fookin' ell...
 

Gadawg

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I believe it does work by actually killing the fat cells but Im pretty sure it hurts like a mother ****a afterwards. I never read much about this thing though cuz everyone can just work out more and diet
 

Viduus

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Haven’t researched cool sculpting but the obvious part that makes me skeptical is freezing fat cells without touching skin cells or organs. If you could accurate target cell types you might want to make the money on cancer cells instead.
 

BRICKS

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Don't know about the pain afterward, but it works. Just like any cosmetic procedure for fat loss though, it's not designed for weight loss but for touch up work. If you're already lean but have a small stubborn area. If the ladies want success they're going to have to diet down first, use it to touch up and maintain those behavior changes afterward or they're just wasting their money. As for the procedure itself, I don't think it'll be a big deal for ya. Keep us posted.
 

NbleSavage

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I dont read anything that involves the metric system. But I made an exception for NS.

Savage, call an attorney. I think you are being hazed and sexually harassed.

Fookin' sexually harassin' Yanks and their Imperial System...

imperial_vs__metric_by_nekit1234007-d5p0ou5.png
 

German89

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I can only read weather in Celsius.. kinda can convert to Fahrenheit. But all my apps are in celcius and, i really dont have a clue how long a mile is.. Kilometers yes, miles... nope.
 

German89

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1.6km to the mile

Thanks.

It even took me a while to get used to mph. And then i go back home and forget to drive km/h.

One time i was back home. Some tawt thought she was going to play classic canadian and show the american how rude they are...

She fukkin followed me home!!! (I gave her the middle finger because she came flying out of the drive and didnt stop until she was half way out into the road)

Comes at me, "you americans" "first of all KUNT! i am canadian. And second of all, fukk outta here, before i slap you". We went back and forth until my ex husband stepped in. Godddddamn i was soooooo vexxed!

Anyways back to the thread.
 

German89

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AhHhahahaha. Nooo...

I do my best to keep my temper under control and will walk away but, if you keep instigating, i will back hand a bitch.
 

dk8594

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Wife looked into it at one point to address cellulite , but when we saw the price ranges (2 to 4K) it wasn’t even up for discussion anymore.

Would be interesting to hear personal experiences.
 

flenser

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Dungeon Dweller

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There is now also Liposolve (deoxycholic acid) injections to hit those stubborn areas that linger after a cut. Alot cheeper than miniliposuction or cool sculpting.
 

mugzy

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There is now also Liposolve (deoxycholic acid) injections to hit those stubborn areas that linger after a cut. Alot cheeper than miniliposuction or cool sculpting.
I have tried this with not the best results. Losing the last few pounds can be tough however I think liposuction or increasing cardio are about the best ways. Kybella was a bust for me.
 

j2048b

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There is a looong ass post over on pro m of a dude doing not only this but also injects and it is good if i can find it ill post it up, coolsculpting dude even bought the machine i do believe
 

TheExperiment

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I have tried this with not the best results. Losing the last few pounds can be tough however I think liposuction or increasing cardio are about the best ways. Kybella was a bust for me.
A chick that was in my rotations used to get kybella injections before her interviews in hope of improving her chin area (To help lose that double chin).

She didn’t diet and just ate like shit. But as we know diet matters, and she didn’t care and ended up not having any noticeable differences after the injections that her and her doc had previously established. She wasted a good amount of loaned education cash on it.
 

Yano

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Cool Sculpting works on cryolipolysis. Basically it freezes the fat kills the cells , they shrink up and voila , but in some people it can apparently cause paradoxical adipose hyperplasia which means when it freezes the fat , it can expand and blow up into these really hard fucked up lumps. An folks are having to get lipo or cosmetic surgery to fix it.
 

CJ

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Cool Sculpting works on cryolipolysis. Basically it freezes the fat kills the cells , they shrink up and voila , but in some people it can apparently cause paradoxical adipose hyperplasia which means when it freezes the fat , it can expand and blow up into these really hard fucked up lumps. An folks are having to get lipo or cosmetic surgery to fix it.
But here's where logic comes into play...

How does it freeze the fat cells, but not the skin? What kind of voodoo causes the cold temperature to pass right through the skin, leaving it undamaged, yet destroy the fat cells underneath? All we all know frostbite is a real thing. But I've never seen anyone get frostbite, but magically kill fat cells either. 🤣🤣🤣

Explain how this magic works dammit!!! (*it doesn't)
 

Yano

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But here's where logic comes into play...

How does it freeze the fat cells, but not the skin? What kind of voodoo causes the cold temperature to pass right through the skin, leaving it undamaged, yet a destroy the fat cells underneath? All we all know frostbite is a real thing. And I've never seen anyone get frostbite, but magically kill fat cells either. 🤣🤣🤣

Explain how this magic works dammit!!! (*it doesn't)
Right on , when i got frostbite snowmobiling my toes didnt look any skinnier than the rest of my damn foot.
 

NbleSavage

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NobleSavage, did you go through with this?
Yea, I did the free session with a small room full of the birds from work. Weren't nothing too intense - two suction cup devices on my stomach, felt cold fer maybe 5 mins then just went numb for the remaining 30 or so. Had hickies in each spot fer maybe 2 weeks afterwards. Nothing really striking in terms of results but I don't carry much bodyfat and so wasn't really the best space monkey. T'was really just a ploy to get the birds at my job site to sign up I think. We had a laugh about it, don't think any signed up after the fact or if they did they kept it to themselves.
 

Kraken

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I looked into this several years ago. They suck your fat into a suction nozzle and then freeze away, and tell you that after 6 to 9 months the dead fat will be eliminated. I visited two different vendors, both told me I don't have enough fat (at the time that was true). The machine has to be able to suck enough of your fat into the nozzle and, if it can't, then there is not enough to freeze.

So if you can't pinch more than an inch, this is not an option. An actual plastic surgeon who sucks fat out of people then stretches their skin told me the Cool Sculpting is just a scam. Yes, he has an incentive to say that, but no, because he had plenty of business.
 

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