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- Jan 11, 2020
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Hey everyone! New to this forum. Im 35 have a house, wife, and two kids and suffer from depression, a mortgage i can barely afford, and a lifestyle that has become dormant, boring and as drawn out as this run-on sentence. Sooooo after considering suicide, leaving and moving to the mountains, or going back to the gym I, unfortunately, chose the local gym. So while life goes on i miss the passion i had all throughout my life before the kids arrived. BODYBUILDING!!! ever since i was a kid i had posters of bodybuilders on the walls which made my dick head alcoholic father question my sexuality. I began my adventures with lifting as a way to get bigger then my abusive father typical story im sure a lot of people here can relate to. I began experimenting with steroids when i was 17 years old looking back i honestly dont know if i would give up the nostolgic memories that go along with a 17 year old dick head kid ****ing everything he could get his hands on and just the beauty of watching your body grow for the first time. Dont get me wrong i added over 60 pounds of weight when i started lifting and supplimenting with protien podwers. However we who dabble in the dark side know the feeling of watching your body load with water retention which to us was rock hard pure muscle....either way it was amazing. So call it a mid life crisis. a last ditch effort to avoid that 30-06 in the closet, whatever you want to call this i plan to turn into a monster. I have been on trt for 3 years with no funny business and these drs are raping me left and right. I appreciate the service but it is so god damn expensive and annoying to go to the drs every week. I plan on doing this step by step but never really coming down as my body permanently produces the levels of a 90 year old. So its been a while and i am going to need all the help i can get but yea lets ****in do this