Is anyone here in recovery?

[Sickman]

This might be a kind of touchy and personal subject that some people might not be comfortable talking about, but I was wondering if anyone else is in recovery?

I've been clean off opiates and heroin for almost 6 months and couldn't be happier. I have totally done a 180 with my life. I'm gainfully employed, live in a nice house, and most of all I'm taking care of my body by training/lifting 4 days a week. I've came so far in such a short time. I wake up every day feeling blessed to no longer be fighting a demon inside of me that want's to destroy everything positive in my life, then kill me.

It's been too many years with a lot of relapses. But this time around I feel different. I probably have to owe this renewed perspective to all the time I spend in the gym. This is the longest I've been clean in 7 years.

I know if I get high, then I can't lift. It kills all motivation and the motor skills needed to even physically do it. I'm getting stronger every workout. I've got momentum on my side. I don't want to throw it all away again and have to start from scratch. I'm finally back in somewhat decent shape. I plan on running with it and never looking back.

Best of all, my family trusts me again. Bridges I've burnt are being rebuilt. There's so much to live for. Im glad I finally decided to commit to this. Better late than never right?

I was just wondering if anyone can relate to me and what I'm going through. I had second thoughts about posting this out of fear of being judged, but figured screw it, everyone here seems respectful and mature.

One day at a time.

 

[Gibsonator]

A lot of us here can relate to that buddy.
The addiction for the iron is a much better and healthier one
Good job keep grinding

 

[BRICKS]

Sober for 20 years. Can't think of anything I can do better while drinking except being drunk.

 

[transcend2007]

There are many compulsive people here ... including me I might add ... while I've never had a recreation drug addition I did give up alcohol a few years back just due to empty calories and nothing positive from it .. I still can toast at a wedding or whatever but it is no longer a part of my life.

People with much greater recovery experience will be commenting I am sure .. and they will provide additional perspective ... my direct comment to you would be to create some serious future goals .. health - career ... wealth ... family ... all of it ... we all need positive things to be moving towards .. otherwise daily distractions will take over ... have a plan ... and work towards it every day ....

One last thing ... be a man ... take responsibility for you past mistakes .. I mean really take responsibility .. not because a 12 step program says you owe amends ... I mean really take responsibility because you are the one who made the decisions ... we all make mistakes ... seriously everyone fvcks up and sometimes badly .... ALL OF US .. what makes the difference is how we respond ... most - like over 95% will blame others - the situation - society .. its all BS ... as men we must take responsibility .. and move forward in the most positive way possible ... the more responsibility you take for yourself and your life the better it will get ...

 

[Sickman]

I couldn't agree with you more man. From the very beginning I chose to do it and every time I've relapsed in the past it's because I chose to do it. Just like I am choosing to do the right thing and not go back to it. I can say I atleast I'm good at owning my mistakes. Nobody held a gun to my head and made me do it. Too many people in my situation blame their environment, upbringing, friends, trauma, etc, things like that can influence your decisions. But at the end of the day, it's still up to one's self if they are gonna do the right thing or not.

 

[Sicwun88]

Glad to hear your getting it together!
I can relate, been through a lot of unessasary setbacks! Due to drugs & alcohol! Better off leaving all alone!
I could never just do one of anything & when it comes to opiates the end is never good!!
One is too many/ a thousands never enough! We'll leave it at that!
Hang in there!

 

[Blusoul24]

Yep. In recovery too. Used to shoot meth and coke when I was younger, then alcohol became my drug of choice. Doesn't matter what the substance is, the end is always the same.

Lifting serves a great metaphor for life and recovery. Staying consistent, pushing through those tough workouts even when I don't want to, and seeing the results, helps me to get through any other tough situation in my life.

Been clean for years; always here if you need to talk brother.

 

[Gabriel]

Buddy H is a bitch to shake..not to go to deep I was slipped some years ago and it almost killed me..my hat is off to you..days will come to challenge you..reach out to whoever to stop the train..if you slip get up and start again..as you know..Like I've said before,it's not all about gear..rather life..and the people here care.. I've fought addiction for decades due to PTSD... I'm not cured just better and a shitload happier..my Wolf reminds me of what is important..my loved ones..Great Job

 

[joeyirish777]

been about 7 years since I touched heroin. I completely forget sometimes..

 

[BrotherIron]

1 is to many and a million is never enough...

You'll find many like minded people here who have/ and could be currently struggling with their demons.

I personally don't like talking about it b/c I don't want to romance it but I never forget. Those who forget are doomed to repeat the past .

 

[DEADlifter]

Really good job Sickman. No one here is going to flame you for sharing your story. A lot of us can relate. Keep up the good work.

 

[CohibaRobusto]

Hi Sickman, I can relate.

I went to rehab in '99. I was an iv heroin user at the time, 24 yrs old, and I had burned my life down along with all of my relationships. I had tried many different methods of quitting and trying to manage my life, including going on methadone for a year and a half.

Nothing worked for me. I had willpower in other areas of life but it failed me every time when alcohol and drugs were involved.

In rehab they made me start going to AA meetings, and that was my last hope. I eventually did what they told me to do, and it completely changed my life.

I went from being this kid with "bad luck" that's life was one disaster after another - to a clean and sober guy that started having good things happen to him on a regular basis.

With the help of AA, I stayed sober 15 years and was very successful in all areas of my life. Then at 15 yrs sober, not really doing AA anymore, I relapsed on prescription drugs. Thank god it didn't last very long, and I knew what to do.

I got clean again, and my current sobriety date is 12/9/2015. So I'll have 5 yrs again if I make it to December 9th this year. I still have not had a drop of alcohol or heroin since July '99.

For me the best things I did were reaching out for help from people more experienced than me, making healthy decisions rather than doing what I felt like doing, and prioritizing my sobriety above everything else in my life.

Good luck to you on your journey. Feel free to reach out if you ever need someone to talk to.

 

[Sickman]

I can relate to all of that man. Speaking of NA meetings, I need to start going to more. Just between work and Covid, it's made things difficult. I usually can only make them on the weekends.

Anyway, I really appreciate all the comments and support guys. It's really awesome. It's glad to feel like I'm not fighting this battle all alone.

 

[dreamscraper]

I wouldn't say I am in recovery personally but I surely have had problems. For me, they were all related to poor mental health. SSRI, hard conditioning, better diet, getting rid of toxic relationships were all things that helped huge. Luckily, I was never addicted to opiates but I am sure if I was 10 years younger I would have been.
Ironically, Alice in Chains is something I removed from my life for mental health reasons. I think Layne is just too easy to relate to and all that is such a trigger for me to just want to listen to music and get wasted.
I basically got rid of anything that was even the slightest trigger or reminder of that time. Literally all the people have been deleted from my life from that time outside of family and replaced with much better relationships.

 

[snake]

Good to hear you fix your problem. As for posting about it, UG is the place to post any accomplishments regardless of its nature.

 

[HollyWoodCole]

Congrats on kicking it man.

I recently quit smoking and drinking, I was hitting the bottle way too hard during this 'lockdown' timeframe as it was always way too easy. Now I just workout/cardio when I get the itch. I should be a built ass mofo when this is all over.

 

[Chump16]

Congrats Sickman .... keep it going

alot can be accomplished by developing positive habits

3 years sober and reversing destructive habits .... life is alot better

 

[DeplorableCracker]

So I've never really dealt with substance abuse issues per say. drink every now and then etc., but I've certainly had rock bottom moments and certainly carry around a lot of guilt to this day.

fuk it....

So about 5 years ago or so my wife found a bunch of porn on my laptop and it totally destroyed her. At the time I didn't think it was a big deal. I was like yeah I'm a dude, I jerk off to porn every now and then what the fuk. I love that woman more than anything in the world. She's the reason I turned my life around and was the catalyst for finally caring about someone more than myself. Her self esteem was completely crushed and long story short I didn't think we were gonna make it. Cliff notes version is that it completely opened my eyes to what I was taking for granted, and what I could lose, and now I spend every single day making sure that she knows her beauty and worth to me and it took quite some time, but we have never been been stronger and the fire has never been hotter. In some strange way I think it was the best thing that could've happened if that makes sense at all.

If I'm being honest I have some guilt right now because my wife still thinks I'm on doctor prescribed TRT and is unaware that I've gone my own way. I plan on having this convo with her at some point, but I'm just not sure if she will understand.

Long story short is we all have regrets and guilts, but it's never too late to turn it around man and we are all proud of you for getting it together.

Keep it up man, and there's plenty of support here to keep you pointed in the right direction.

 

[HollyWoodCole]

So I've never really dealt with substance abuse issues per say. drink every now and then etc., but I've certainly had rock bottom moments and certainly carry around a lot of guilt to this day.

fuk it....

So about 5 years ago or so my wife found a bunch of porn on my laptop and it totally destroyed her. At the time I didn't think it was a big deal. I was like yeah I'm a dude, I jerk off to porn every now and then what the fuk. I love that woman more than anything in the world. She's the reason I turned my life around and was the catalyst for finally caring about someone more than myself. Her self esteem was completely crushed and long story short I didn't think we were gonna make it. Cliff notes version is that it completely opened my eyes to what I was taking for granted, and what I could lose, and now I spend every single day making sure that she knows her beauty and worth to me and it took quite some time, but we have never been been stronger and the fire has never been hotter. In some strange way I think it was the best thing that could've happened if that makes sense at all.

If I'm being honest I have some guilt right now because my wife still thinks I'm on doctor prescribed TRT and is unaware that I've gone my own way. I plan on having this convo with her at some point, but I'm just not sure if she will understand.

Long story short is we all have regrets and guilts, but it's never too late to turn it around man and we are all proud of you for getting it together.

Keep it up man, and there's plenty of support here to keep you pointed in the right direction.

I can't condone lying to a wife, but I also don't know I would suggest telling anyone about your gear situation unless you KNOW they are not going anywhere. It has happened to more than one guy on this site that their female has turned this against them in a legal manner afterwards.

Food for thought.

 

[Skullcrusher]

I was the worst possible addict that you can possibly imagine. Was a major alcoholic, addicted to many drugs, opiates included. Quit everything at age 37 and have not gone back. Weightlifting has become a healthy addiction for me. Something that builds me up instead of tearing me down.

Love Alice In Chains Facelift, Dirt, Jar Of Flies too...especially Dirt...can sing the whole album, but not as good as Layne Staley!