Ex IV drug addict: AMA

[Bobbyloads]

I haven't quite made up my mind on it being a disease or choice yet. There's definitely a genetic component to it. Almost every member of my immediate and extended family are alcoholics or addicts. I think once someone is at the point that they get withdrawals without it, then they no longer have a choice. Your brain puts it into the same category as food and water, and you are pretty much on autopilot until you get your fix.

That being said, relapse is a choice. The times that I was detoxed, and no longer was having withdrawals, and yet chose to restart that cycle of using and sickness, was all made consciously by my own stupidity, selfishness, and insane delusions that I had at the time believing that I could maybe keep using it under control. I will not say that's a disease, that's a cop out. It's called being stubborn. I'll own my poor decisions unlike some addicts.

**** gonna jump in had my own struggles with many drugs when I was younger and I really personally don’t believe it’s a disease maybe weak self control but not disease.

As many drugs as I did I always worked or did shit to make money and always wanted to stop but just felt empty inside. No matter what I did how ****ed up and how much fun I had never fulfilled me.

I really think my child was the nail in the coffin when I came home a few times coked up and held him felt like a piece of shit and couldn’t do it anymore even though at that point was not partying often it had to pretty much stop. The gym became my mew addiction I’m a firm believer of if you have an addiction replace it with one that is not damaging to you.

A disease your born with or to get later that has to do with your health. Addiction is allowing your self to use or do something so many times where you need it physically or mentally you can’t stop from repeating it. It’s a choice and some people have a harder time fighting it and not doing it then others but it’s a choice in my opinion.

 

[Straight30weight]

Oh but if everyone analyzed the pros and cons of every decision they make and used Vulcan logic. Actually, it would be kinda boring but maybe we wouldn't have alcoholics and drug addicts and serial killers. And certainly no steroid users ;^ )

Thats not an answer. He already answered my question.

 

[Blusoul24]

Is cancer a disease? How about diabetes? Both can be caused by people's poor decisions, and yet nobody wants to argue that those are actual diseases.

Regardless of what side of the debate any of us fall on (and I could make cases for both sides), addiction has plagued mankind as long as mankind has existed and we have never been able to eradicate it. It's wired into our DNA somehow.

With all the talk of opioids these days, people forget that alcohol is still perhaps the deadliest drug out there and the withdrawal from it is brutal and dangerous.

I'm all for people being able to get high if they want to (as long as they aren't hurting anyone else), but I learned the hard way, more than once because I'm thick-headed, that I can't use any of them successfully.

coffee and gear. That's it. Lol

 

[SFGiants]

Is cancer a disease? How about diabetes? Both can be caused by people's poor decisions, and yet nobody wants to argue that those are actual diseases.

Regardless of what side of the debate any of us fall on (and I could make cases for both sides), addiction has plagued mankind as long as mankind has existed and we have never been able to eradicate it. It's wired into our DNA somehow.

With all the talk of opioids these days, people forget that alcohol is still perhaps the deadliest drug out there and the withdrawal from it is brutal and dangerous.

I'm all for people being able to get high if they want to (as long as they aren't hurting anyone else), but I learned the hard way, more than once because I'm thick-headed, that I can't use any of them successfully.

coffee and gear. That's it. Lol

Alcohol is the only thing I know that has killed people during detox because they body would no longer go on without it.

 

[SFGiants]

Coming up on 30 years in March!

 

[Blusoul24]

Coming up on 30 years in March!

That's awesome brother! Congrats! I would have close to that, but at 19 years clean I decided to give drinking a try and it was almost 10 years before I made it back.

 

[Jin]

Alcohol is the only thing I know that has killed people during detox because they body would no longer go on without it.

Correct.

alcohol or benzo withdrawal can kill you.

 

[Texan69]

In my job I deal with a lot of addicts, many who I know as I deal with them often. Lots of meth where I work I mean tons. But I often ask the repeat offenders I see “when is the last time you used” they will tell me they are sober and then turn around and say they used 4-5 days ago.

I always assume it’s just because they haven’t been able to re up. But maybe they are really trying to quit and for them 5 days may be a big deal. I try to have more empathy but never having been in their shoes or can be tough.

I guess my question is. At what point do you consider yourself to be sober?

 

[Sickman]

In my job I deal with a lot of addicts, many who I know as I deal with them often. Lots of meth where I work I mean tons. But I often ask the repeat offenders I see “when is the last time you used” they will tell me they are sober and then turn around and say they used 4-5 days ago.

I always assume it’s just because they haven’t been able to re up. But maybe they are really trying to quit and for them 5 days may be a big deal. I try to have more empathy but never having been in their shoes or can be tough.

I guess my question is. At what point do you consider yourself to be sober?

There's a difference between being sober and being in recovery. I consider being sober as just not being under the influence of a drug or alcohol. An addict can not get his fix for the day and technically be sober.

What truly counts is being in recovery. That's when an addict totally changes every negative aspect of their life that contributes to getting getting high and eliminates all drug seeking/addict like or criminal behaviors, then while in recovery, they become productive members of society . It's a lifelong thing that one has to take one day at a time.

 

[ATLRigger]

In my job I deal with a lot of addicts, many who I know as I deal with them often. Lots of meth where I work I mean tons. But I often ask the repeat offenders I see “when is the last time you used” they will tell me they are sober and then turn around and say they used 4-5 days ago.

I always assume it’s just because they haven’t been able to re up. But maybe they are really trying to quit and for them 5 days may be a big deal. I try to have more empathy but never having been in their shoes or can be tough.

I guess my question is. At what point do you consider yourself to be sober?

You are sober whenever you wake up from a night of sleep after using.
For example, you’ve been on a bender with no sleep for four days and four nights. Whatever substance.
You eventually fall asleep Tuesday at 3 pm and wake up at 10 pm. I’d say you are sober when you wake up.
If your coworkers have been clean for five days and they are trying to stay clean, that is a big deal and should be encouraged.
“when is the last time you used” is a very appropriate question and if you care about them and know them well enough, go ahead and ask them that everyday.

 

[JackDMegalomaniac]

In my job I deal with a lot of addicts, many who I know as I deal with them often. Lots of meth where I work I mean tons. But I often ask the repeat offenders I see “when is the last time you used” they will tell me they are sober and then turn around and say they used 4-5 days ago.

I always assume it’s just because they haven’t been able to re up. But maybe they are really trying to quit and for them 5 days may be a big deal. I try to have more empathy but never having been in their shoes or can be tough.

I guess my question is. At what point do you consider yourself to be sober?

I have zero empathy for people cycling from fed up to sober. My brother went down a bad path, just abusing anything he could get his hands. He tried to drag me down with him, I had to just give Up on him.

The cycle perpetuates the long journey to worse and worse things. It was one of the hardest things I did, but you cant help someone who wont help themselves. You cant have blind optimism, some cases are just a lost cause.

 

[Sickman]

I had something really messed up happen to me today, and I think it's relevant to this thread.

I live in a sober living house, and I have a couple roomates who are also in recovery. One of them I have became good friends with as well as a lifting buddies with. I found him in his room dead this morning from a heroin overdose. He was 38 years old and was actually a really good guy. This situation is horrible, and I feel awful for him and his family.
I called 911 as soon as I found him, but he'd been dead for hours because he was cold when I tried to shake him awake. The cops and medical examiners just left with his body and now have to go notify his family of what happened.

This came out of nowhere. He was doing great. He had a good job, just bought a new car, and was going to the gym with me.

This is a grim reminder of why I will never ever touch that shit ever again.

 

[Blusoul24]

I had something really messed up happen to me today, and I think it's relevant to this thread.

I live in a sober living house, and I have a couple roomates who are also in recovery. One of them I have became good friends with as well as a lifting buddies with. I found him in his room dead this morning from a heroin overdose. He was 38 years old and was actually a really good guy. This situation is horrible, and I feel awful for him and his family.
I called 911 as soon as I found him, but he'd been dead for hours because he was cold when I tried to shake him awake. The cops and medical examiners just left with his body and now have to go notify his family of what happened.

This came out of nowhere. He was doing great. He had a good job, just bought a new car, and was going to the gym with me.

This is a grim reminder of why I will never ever touch that shit ever again.

Sorry you have to go through that brother. I've lost so many friends and acquaintances over the years that you almost get a little numb to it. Addiction is something that only ends in a few ways: jails, institutions, death or recovery of some sort. It's reality, but it still sucks.

Don't dismiss the trauma of finding a friend dead. Talk to someone, even if it's just us here at UG.

 

[Mind2muscle]

I had something really messed up happen to me today, and I think it's relevant to this thread.

I live in a sober living house, and I have a couple roomates who are also in recovery. One of them I have became good friends with as well as a lifting buddies with. I found him in his room dead this morning from a heroin overdose. He was 38 years old and was actually a really good guy. This situation is horrible, and I feel awful for him and his family.
I called 911 as soon as I found him, but he'd been dead for hours because he was cold when I tried to shake him awake. The cops and medical examiners just left with his body and now have to go notify his family of what happened.

This came out of nowhere. He was doing great. He had a good job, just bought a new car, and was going to the gym with me.

This is a grim reminder of why I will never ever touch that shit ever again.

Sorry for your loss. The opiate crisis in America is in full swing unfortunately whether it’s prescription painkillers or heroin. It’s a damn shame what is happening. Stay strong and focused my friend.

 

[Jin]

Wow. Brother, I have no idea what you’re going through but I imagine it would devastate me. Please reach out if you need anything.

sorry for your loss.

 

[CohibaRobusto]

I had something really messed up happen to me today, and I think it's relevant to this thread.

I live in a sober living house, and I have a couple roomates who are also in recovery. One of them I have became good friends with as well as a lifting buddies with. I found him in his room dead this morning from a heroin overdose. He was 38 years old and was actually a really good guy. This situation is horrible, and I feel awful for him and his family.
I called 911 as soon as I found him, but he'd been dead for hours because he was cold when I tried to shake him awake. The cops and medical examiners just left with his body and now have to go notify his family of what happened.

This came out of nowhere. He was doing great. He had a good job, just bought a new car, and was going to the gym with me.

This is a grim reminder of why I will never ever touch that shit ever again.

I can't imagine what you're going through, this being a lifting buddy especially.

Last year, I got a panicked call from a neighbor and went over to find her husband unresponsive. Gave CPR to a dead guy for about 5 minutes until a paramedic arrived (I thought I felt a pulse). So that was an experience.

Dude, just keep your sobriety first. Take things one day at a time. Reach out if you need someone to talk to, you got my number. Go to meetings. You will be ok as long as you don't pick up.

 

[ATLRigger]

I’m so sorry to hear that, Sickman.
Ive buried a few friends from opiate addiction.
I lost a close friend who lived with me in sober living about 12 years ago.
We’d both moved into apartments after doing the sober living thing for a year or so, and I had to notify his mom, lead a bonfire funeral, sort through his belongings, and carry out his blood soaked mattress.

I relapsed a few weeks later even though i was two years sober.
Tread lightly, brother. Ur addiction is cunning and powerful. Take every step to fight it and don’t rest on your laurels.
Again, I’m very sorry for ur loss. PM me anytime for phone number.

 

[Sickman]

Thanks for all the support guys. I had to help his family collect all his belongings yesterday. It was rough. They're super upset. I feel so bad for his mom.

I will never touch that poison ever again. I could end up dead too just as easy if I ever went back out. Never again.

 

[Gadawg]

Jesus. Im sorry man

 

[BigSwolePump]

Thanks for all the support guys. I had to help his family collect all his belongings yesterday. It was rough. They're super upset. I feel so bad for his mom.

I will never touch that poison ever again. I could end up dead too just as easy if I ever went back out. Never again.

Sorry for you loss man.

The fact that you have made up your mind to never use that shit again and haven't is why I have no doubt that it is a choice and not a disease.

Stay strong. You got this!