What has your kid said to u that makes u say huh ?

[Jada]

This yr for Christmas my son wanted everything to be about Mario, stuff toys , underwear , shirts etc . Well he also got a nerf gun and I was scrubbing the tub and he says "daddy I need Mario bullets" I'm like what the hell)

 

[DF]

One Christmas my daughter 3 at the time said she wanted a blue rock for Christmas. I was scratching my head ???? I found a rock outside panted it blue & she got it in her stocking. She was excited. ?????!!!!

 

[PillarofBalance]

I made my daughter dinner one night. It was chicken. She tells me she only likes chicken with peanut butter on it... Basically everything she says is funny shit.

 

[getgains]

ive learned that when boys are 2-4 years old when they say watch this you better watch my oldest girl 14 at the time was bathing my youngest boy i was in the kitchen at the time and i hear dad watch this well he had shit in the tub and before i could say anything he chucked it right at his sis nailed her on the shirt i know it was gross but fuck i laughed at that for ever.

 

[DarksideSix]

my son (6) has been getting into watching MMA and UFC fights for about the past year. Well, I've been teach him some basic kicks, punches, and blocks. So one day I was messing with him while he was trying to play and after a few times of telling me to "stop dad" he throws down his Transformer toy he was playingwith and gives me a real serious look and says...."You wanna Muay Thai with me punk?" hahahahahaha.......I almost pissed myself!!

 

[AlphaD]

The other night my 7 old son gets out of the bath and he is tugging his scrotum. He says I don't have anything in my bag. I'm like give to little man, you will two things in there as you get older. He says two....then pauses and ponders for a moment and says, I just want one big one. I laughed all night!

 

[AlphaD]

The other night my 7 old son gets out of the bath and he is tugging his scrotum. He says I don't have anything in my bag. I'm like give it time little man, and you will get two things in there as you get older. He says two....then pauses and ponders for a moment and says, I just want one big one. I laughed all night!

had to edit the previous....No edit.

 

[PillarofBalance]

had to edit the previous....No edit.

Get over it!

That story is funny as hell though

 

[Cashout]

My 9 year old has heard me quote Aristotle in conversations with my students. The quote is " “We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, therefore, is not an act, but a habit.”

During his 2nd degree black belt test in TKD, the testing instructor asked him "What do you think is most important for someone to know who wants to one day earn a black belt?"

My son answered without hesitation - "Make being excellent a habit."

I caught a tear and a chill at that moment and whispered to my wife "The force is strong with this one."

 

[Times Roman]

"oh..... I didn't know you wanted me to save you some beer?"

 

[trim]

My daughter (4) took all of her mothers pillows off of the bed this weekend. I asked her why she was doing that, and she replied with "I dont want you and mommy to hug and hold hands while in bed" I think that was her first cock block haha

 

[g0re]

I just pinned some tren ace, tren e, and tne in the bathroom then jumped in the shower.

My daughter had to go to the bathroom and came in and said "daddy, why does it smell like a hospital in here?"

I said it must be my shaving cream.

 

[ccpro]

I caught the original "Rocky" on tv the other day. My 11yr old son walked in and I told him this was Rocky, a classic, a movie that started it all for many of the great modern movies he sees today! He said, oh yeah ....I heard it was really good....doesn't Rocky kill all the zombies in the end!!!