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Thread: Your opinions?

  1. #1
    Elite Cobra Strike's Avatar
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    Your opinions?

    Alright guys I got a question..something thats been on my mind for years...

    Lets say you get married to a great woman that you know will never cheat on you...you know so well that the thought never even enters your mind. So as the years pass you accumulate lots of nice things..big house expensive neighbor hood...high society reputation...expensive vehicles...all the things you want so when you think you want to buy something you cant cause there is nothing left to buy.

    As time goes by the intimacy, passion, attractiveness, and affection begins to fizzle to the point where you just love eachother but now act like roommates going through the daily motions....then along comes a baby...still the connection between you and her is non existant. She never complains about it though and says she is happy when you ask her if she is happy. You always catch yourself dreaming of what it would be like with another woman...

    After all this would you guys stay and try and work things out between you two and keep your upscale life and coming home to your kid everyday or would you leave her to take a chance to find whats missing in another woman and lose your home and deal with all the splitting up of your shit and only get to see your kid with 50/50 custody and miss some of thier growing up cause your only there half the time??? (lets not forget that she will find another guy that will try to be your kids dad when your not there). Is it legitimate to want or need that spark in a relationship or is it all a part of being married and thats just how its suppose to be?

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    Elite PFM's Avatar
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    Re: Your opinions?

    Think about your kid. How many guys out there are good enough to step in and play father to your own blood? I've been where you're at, it comes and goes. I know all about day dreaming about some new found "love" and that rip your clothes off sex. Chasing a fresh piece of ass will be exciting but you already know the outcome.

    When you're 70 years old (married for 40-50 years) you will have accomplished what few can or will.

    Interesting..........I've felt almost trapped lately myself, then along come two temptations, two days in a row. I've milled over making a very similar thread without the kid(s).

    Now for my opinion: Stay on your path, be a man of your word and honor to your wife and child.
    Thugs
    Don't
    Matter

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    Elite JAXNY's Avatar
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    Re: Your opinions?

    I'm not Married but have been in quit a few relationships and have seen people in your position, so ill try and be helpful. first off the woman you have is certainly a rare one to find and you seem to have her. I wouldn't give her up and everything you've built along with your history together. for what? some spark again with another women. you don't know how long your new spark will last or what other troubling issues you'll have with her not to mention all of
    the heart ache and problems you'll have to deal with with your current wife. you'll be smart to keep your current wife and life and try to find a way to get that spark back, weather you can or not, shell always love you for it.
    but honestly, if I were you. I wouldn't take anyone's opinion on what to do. what might have worked out well for one couple or even many other couples may not be the best thing for you and her.
    the only two people id listen to if I were you is yourself and your wife, you both will figure out whats best for the both of you. good luck brother, hope things work out well for you.

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    Elite. SFGiants's Avatar
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    Re: Your opinions?

    You have to put in the work to make it work!

    You can leave and find a new women and in time be in the same situation brother.

    All couples I know that have made it 20, 30, 40 and more years say it takes work and I always here at some point many years down the road they find a new spark with each other.

    You feel the way you do because she has been around a long time and your did what it took to get her and keeper her around now you have to do what it takes to keep making her happy you have to find a life that is about just the 2 of you that excludes even the kids at times you have to have time alone with just the 2 of you.
    Knock Em Down and Keep Em Down!

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    Elite SuperBane's Avatar
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    Re: Your opinions?

    It is the nature of man to want to conquer.

    Conquer all things.
    Bunch of slack-jawed fagg0ts around here. This stuff will make you a god damned sexual Tyrannosaurus, just like me.

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    Elite Bro Bundy's Avatar
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    Re: Your opinions?

    cobra we aint getting any younger.If u had a kid with her try to work shit out

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    Elite #TheMatrix's Avatar
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    Re: Your opinions?

    I have a long post to make. I've been through what you're talking about. learned lots of knowledge. ill share when I'm at my computer.


    ill call it trembolone temptations in the life of sparticus.

    cobra. I figured out the way out of the tunnel ....

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    Senior Moderator NbleSavage's Avatar
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    Re: Your opinions?

    The kid is the clincher in this scenario IMO. Once you've procreated, its no longer about you: it's about the family unit and specifically about that kid's development until they can legitimately fend for themselves.

    After the kid is ready to be self-sufficient, you could reassess. Until then, I'd say stick it out and take those urges for strange out on RedTube, Mate

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    Elite Tren4Life's Avatar
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    Re: Your opinions?

    The simple way I found to make it work is to let her think she is in charge. It takes some getting used to but it works for us. You have to learn to set your principals aside. I am like SFG I think you will have the same trouble with another woman.
    traps are the new abs.

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    Elite Jada's Avatar
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    Re: Your opinions?

    Ive been married for 8 yrs and been with my wife for 13yrs in total, 3rd kid upincoming soon , ive felt that way a couple of times in my time with her but at the end I realized that EVERYWOMEN has something that they can annoy u with, if u have a good women on ur hands their isnt one thing that cant b fixed, at the end I agree with the bros here, start all over again and what find another issue with the next person, cobra stay with her , sit down with her and keep it 100 with her and tell her how u feel and if their is something wrong that u r doing that is making her react that way. I would never tell u to leave , always try to fix FOR THE KID, but at the end if u try and try and she doesnt want to fix situation then u have to come to a decision. As always to u and all my bros im always a pm away. Hope everything gets fixed.
    Eating ass is anabolic. .. Stick your tongue in and hold it there for 20 seconds! Wise words from
    TRODIZZLE

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    Elite Bro Bundy's Avatar
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    Re: Your opinions?

    Originally Posted by Cobra Strike View Post
    Alright guys I got a question..something thats been on my mind for years...

    Lets say you get married to a great woman that you know will never cheat on you...you know so well that the thought never even enters your mind. So as the years pass you accumulate lots of nice things..big house expensive neighbor hood...high society reputation...expensive vehicles...all the things you want so when you think you want to buy something you cant cause there is nothing left to buy.

    As time goes by the intimacy, passion, attractiveness, and affection begins to fizzle to the point where you just love eachother but now act like roommates going through the daily motions....then along comes a baby...still the connection between you and her is non existant. She never complains about it though and says she is happy when you ask her if she is happy. You always catch yourself dreaming of what it would be like with another woman...

    After all this would you guys stay and try and work things out between you two and keep your upscale life and coming home to your kid everyday or would you leave her to take a chance to find whats missing in another woman and lose your home and deal with all the splitting up of your shit and only get to see your kid with 50/50 custody and miss some of thier growing up cause your only there half the time??? (lets not forget that she will find another guy that will try to be your kids dad when your not there). Is it legitimate to want or need that spark in a relationship or is it all a part of being married and thats just how its suppose to be?
    u can always get your jollies off on the side bro..call manhole herm over he gives great head!

  12. #12
    Elite PillarofBalance's Avatar
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    Re: Your opinions?

    Cobra I'm divorced with a 5 year old daughter. It can be awful most times. The guilt can be overwhelming.

    It's time to recharge the relationship. You can take control of that by doing small things that can mean the world.

    Flowers
    A love letter
    A massage (by you not purchased)
    Make a special dinner
    Get the in laws to watch the kid while you fly to New York in the morning, shop have dinner and fly home that night.
    Get away for a weekend
    Sign up for ballroom dance lessons

    Those ideas took me 30 seconds to come up with. Making her feel special will make her want you to feel special. But it takes a daily effort.
    "Overzealous dosing" -Jin

    Rest in Peace Robot Lord. First round of Natty Boh is on me when I make it up there with you brother.

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    Re: Your opinions?

    Best thing to do is try and make it work. But if it just don't work then move on brutha. Its hard when kids are involved but in time the kids will adjust to it. I've been through it bro. Just make sure you sty in your kids life as much as possible. Its not good for a kid to grow up seeing parents not getting along. But first you have to try it 100%. Don't give up just like that. But also don't live life unhappy.

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    Senior Member SAD's Avatar
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    Re: Your opinions?

    The grass is not greener on the other side, it's greener where you water it.
    Conquer yourself through wise experimentation.

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    Re: Your opinions?

    Thanks for all your responses guys. It just sucks feeling like her roommate instead of her man. I know the grass is not greener on the other side of the fence but dam I need some kind of attention from her. I want her to look at me like she use to...maybe smile a little...I don't see how she can be happy like this. Im actually trying to make it work at the moment but what I'm looking for is some effort from her and as of right now when I speak of change or work or effort she just wants to give up and say she's not the one for me then...like she's fukin lazy and won't help us...idk its a bitch

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    Senior Member SAD's Avatar
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    Re: Your opinions?

    Originally Posted by Cobra Strike View Post
    Thanks for all your responses guys. It just sucks feeling like her roommate instead of her man. I know the grass is not greener on the other side of the fence but dam I need some kind of attention from her. I want her to look at me like she use to...maybe smile a little...I don't see how she can be happy like this. Im actually trying to make it work at the moment but what I'm looking for is some effort from her and as of right now when I speak of change or work or effort she just wants to give up and say she's not the one for me then...like she's fukin lazy and won't help us...idk its a bitch
    The Five Love Languages is a book that will teach YOU how to love her, and HER how to love you, in the way that she/you respond to. Yeah, it's based on a Christian premise, but you can just take the test and find out how it is that YOU respond to love, and then she does the same. We all tend to try to love others as WE would like to be loved, but that's not necessarily how the recipient needs to feel love.

    I recommend that book to every couple I know and I swear its stopped a few divorces in my inner circle.
    Conquer yourself through wise experimentation.

  17. #17
    Member creekrat's Avatar
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    Re: Your opinions?

    Me and the mrs went through this a couple years ago and i ****ed it up. Luckily i have the most wonderful woman in the world and she forgave me and we are now stronger than ever. Get back to the basics and don't worry about the belongings. Go on a picnic with just the 2 of you. Go camping and find a swimming hole to go skinny dipping in. Be an 18 year old kid and throw caution to the wind. Be spontaneous. At some point it quits being easy and you have to make a conscious decision to make it work. Just make it a point to have fun.

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    Re: Your opinions?

    Originally Posted by Cobra Strike View Post
    Thanks for all your responses guys. It just sucks feeling like her roommate instead of her man. I know the grass is not greener on the other side of the fence but dam I need some kind of attention from her. I want her to look at me like she use to...maybe smile a little...I don't see how she can be happy like this. Im actually trying to make it work at the moment but what I'm looking for is some effort from her and as of right now when I speak of change or work or effort she just wants to give up and say she's not the one for me then...like she's fukin lazy and won't help us...idk its a bitch
    Sounds as though she's too comfortable, that's a tough situation. Initiate a boost, plan "a date" like you did back in the heat of your journey together. As men we have to set examples all the time, it never gets easier being the one with the balls. If you don't feel like it's your all your job to create new fire I agree with you, you are not alone.

    Give it a shot, light some fires.
    Thugs
    Don't
    Matter

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    Elite grind4it's Avatar
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    Re: Your opinions?

    What you're feeling is totally normal. If any man stays married/committed relationship for long enough he will experiences lil of the thoughts and feeling you are experiencing. Please keep this in mind. If you follow your heart and try and find another woman with all of the love that you experienced when you met your current wife.... After a few years you will feel exactly the way you feel now. Your children need you and they need to see a stable relationship. If there is not violence, infidelity or other unacceptable it is my opinion that you should stay committed to the relationship.

    You may have been one of the new age couples that wrote their own vows. If not, you promised to be commuted to this relationship for better or worse in good time and bad. It will get better. It always dose. The first step is to communicate with your wife. She maybe feeling similar feelings.

    Just my two cents

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    Re: Your opinions?

    Bro do something romantic and surprise her. Just try and put the spark back in it. Something you use to do when you first swept her off her feet. Bro reality is all you can do is try. But it takes 2 to make it work. If she is not trying then just seperate for a bit. Let her see how it is with out you. But remember there is always the possibility that she might like it without you. But couples tend to get used to having the other one around. And that's not good. Me and my wife just went through this about a month ago. Time away can bring you closer. Sometimes..

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