Diary of the Ashman

TomJ

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I have decided to never compete again. I spent almost 40 years of my life chasing sports, goals, titles, etc. From 8 years old on, I was always into something and could never turn off that competitive fire.

Man.... I am fucking tired of chasing.

I won't go into a long ass post about my competitive life, but I want balance for once, and I am tired of fighting against it. After my Nov 2021 Physique show, I figured the fire was permanently lit and I fell back in love with competition, but it was temporary.

I was due to compete again in June of 2022, and 6 weeks out I was WAY ahead of where I needed to be despite going through the motions on some shit. Getting lean as hell eating Shake Shack 2-3x a week was fun, won't lie, but I was hitting a wall.

I own a gym, run a successful and thriving online business, and they both demand a lot of work and mental effort.

I have been working hard on creating me time away from the gym life. I spent 30+ years in gyms, I HATE living in a gym at this stage of my life. I know way too many people in this business, or competitors, who have NO fucking life. None. They eat, sleep, train, work. That is it.

I start to get this averse reaction to hanging out with "gym people" as I find a lot of them boring as fuck. I don't want to hear about your goddamn diet, training, next show, next meet, macros, why you can't have a fucking beer, etc. I have been there, it's fun for a short time, but fuck man.... live life just a little.

I want to be in a gym less, live life more, have some fun with what time I have left, and train to maintain and feel better to enhance my life - not train for stage or some competitive endeavor ever again.

I know nobody else will care, but I do, because my identity was IN this shit for such a long time, that I sacrificed a lot for it.

Hobbies, artistic pursuits, normalcy, etc.

I'm done with it.

Training will be 3x a week, I will do more weighed vest work, bodyweight work, and I developed my own template based off of 5/3/1, what I CAN do with a barbell, and using my idea of assistance work.

Attached is the template, weights which I lowered greatly for the time being to allow for room to grow, and off days will be weighted vest walking/yoga/whatever the fuck I want to do for fun.

I am hanging up the competitive hat for good. It is done.

Yesterday was Day 1:

Wednesday, August 10, 2022 at 09:09

Trap Bar Deadlift
Set 1: 295 lb × 5
Set 2: 335 lb × 5
Set 3: 385 lb × 6

Seated Overhead Press (Barbell)
Set 1: 115 lb × 5
Set 2: 130 lb × 5
Set 3: 145 lb × 12

Cable Rear Delt Fly
Set 1: 27.5 lb × 12
Set 2: 33 lb × 12
Set 3: 28.5 lb × 18

Chest Dip
Set 1: 12 reps
Set 2: 13 reps
Set 3: 13 reps

Rope Hammer Curl w/ Supination
Set 1: 66 lb × 12
Set 2: 99 lb × 10
Set 3: 99 lb × 12

Battle Rope
Set 1: 2:30
Hey man, you put in your time, you got nothing to prove, it's okay to be done with it.
Enjoy other aspects of your life!

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Fvckinashman

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thanks all, appreciate the kind words.

Today:

Day 2
Friday, August 12, 2022 at 09:38

Ssb Split Squat
Set 1: 95 lb × 6
Set 2: 95 lb × 6
Set 3: 95 lb × 10

Kroc Rows
Set 1: 80 lb × 5
Set 2: 80 lb × 5
Set 3: 80 lb × 5
Set 4: 80 lb × 5
Set 5: 80 lb × 20
Set 6: 80 lb × 20

Trap Bar SLDL
Set 1: 135 lb × 8
Set 2: 135 lb × 8
Set 3: 135 lb × 8

Feet Elevated Push-ups
Set 1: 34 reps in 2m with a 20# weighted vest

Kb Power Snatch
Set 1: 52.9 lb × 10
Set 2: 52.9 lb × 10
 

Fvckinashman

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Yesterday:

Day 3
Monday, August 15, 2022 at 14:16

Slight Incline Bench Press
Set 1: 165 lb × 5
Set 2: 195 lb × 5
Set 3: 215 lb × 14

Neutral Grip Chin-up
Set 1: +25 lb × 5
Set 2: +35 lb × 5
Set 3: +35 lb × 8

Leg Extension (Machine)
Set 1: 100 lb × 10
Set 2: 120 lb × 10
Set 3: 140 lb × 16

Cable Laterals
Set 1: 12.5 kg × 10
Set 2: 15 kg × 10
Set 3: 15 kg × 14

Fat Bell Bicep Curl
Set 1: 26 lb × 10
Set 2: 35 lb × 10
Set 3: 35 lb × 14

Push-Up Tricep Focus
Set 1: 10 reps
Set 2: 10 reps
Set 3: 14 reps

Rope Crunch
Set 1: 70 kg × 15
Set 2: 80 kg × 15

Today is cardio work
 

Fvckinashman

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Today:

Day 1
Wednesday, August 17, 2022 at 11:16

Trap Bar Deadlift
Set 1: 285 lb × 3
Set 2: 325 lb × 3
Set 3: 365 lb × 8

Seated Overhead Press (Barbell)
Set 1: 125 lb × 3
Set 2: 145 lb × 3
Set 3: 165 lb × 8

Circuit below with vest on
Notes: 12m circuit - 5 rounds
I am out of shape. Fuck

Weighted Vest Ring Pull-ups
Set 1: +20 lb × 5

Weighted Vest Push-ups
Set 1: +20 lb × 5

Fat Bell Muscle Cleans
Set 1: 26 lb × 10

Ab Wheel
Set 1: +20 lb × 5

Video:

 

Send0

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I applaud your decision and your self reflection. You only get one life, might as well live it the way that makes you happy.
I just wanted to say I read the first sentence as "self erection" and immediately wanted more details.

Imagine my disappointment when I re-read that sentence correctly. 😢
 

The Phoenix

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I just wanted to say I read the first sentence as "self erection" and immediately wanted more details.

Imagine my disappointment when I re-read that sentence correctly. 😢
you don't know how to do that? jedi mind trick.. :ninja:
 

TODAY

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I have decided to never compete again. I spent almost 40 years of my life chasing sports, goals, titles, etc. From 8 years old on, I was always into something and could never turn off that competitive fire.

Man.... I am fucking tired of chasing.

I won't go into a long ass post about my competitive life, but I want balance for once, and I am tired of fighting against it. After my Nov 2021 Physique show, I figured the fire was permanently lit and I fell back in love with competition, but it was temporary.

I was due to compete again in June of 2022, and 6 weeks out I was WAY ahead of where I needed to be despite going through the motions on some shit. Getting lean as hell eating Shake Shack 2-3x a week was fun, won't lie, but I was hitting a wall.

I own a gym, run a successful and thriving online business, and they both demand a lot of work and mental effort.

I have been working hard on creating me time away from the gym life. I spent 30+ years in gyms, I HATE living in a gym at this stage of my life. I know way too many people in this business, or competitors, who have NO fucking life. None. They eat, sleep, train, work. That is it.

I start to get this averse reaction to hanging out with "gym people" as I find a lot of them boring as fuck. I don't want to hear about your goddamn diet, training, next show, next meet, macros, why you can't have a fucking beer, etc. I have been there, it's fun for a short time, but fuck man.... live life just a little.

I want to be in a gym less, live life more, have some fun with what time I have left, and train to maintain and feel better to enhance my life - not train for stage or some competitive endeavor ever again.

I know nobody else will care, but I do, because my identity was IN this shit for such a long time, that I sacrificed a lot for it.

Hobbies, artistic pursuits, normalcy, etc.

I'm done with it.

Training will be 3x a week, I will do more weighed vest work, bodyweight work, and I developed my own template based off of 5/3/1, what I CAN do with a barbell, and using my idea of assistance work.

Attached is the template, weights which I lowered greatly for the time being to allow for room to grow, and off days will be weighted vest walking/yoga/whatever the fuck I want to do for fun.

I am hanging up the competitive hat for good. It is done.

Yesterday was Day 1:

Wednesday, August 10, 2022 at 09:09

Trap Bar Deadlift
Set 1: 295 lb × 5
Set 2: 335 lb × 5
Set 3: 385 lb × 6

Seated Overhead Press (Barbell)
Set 1: 115 lb × 5
Set 2: 130 lb × 5
Set 3: 145 lb × 12

Cable Rear Delt Fly
Set 1: 27.5 lb × 12
Set 2: 33 lb × 12
Set 3: 28.5 lb × 18

Chest Dip
Set 1: 12 reps
Set 2: 13 reps
Set 3: 13 reps

Rope Hammer Curl w/ Supination
Set 1: 66 lb × 12
Set 2: 99 lb × 10
Set 3: 99 lb × 12

Battle Rope
Set 1: 2:30
I'm finding it difficult to articulate how admirable I find this post, so I'll just say this:

Good on you, dude. The level of honest self-reflection that it takes to make a decision like this is sadly, vanishingly rare.
 

Fvckinashman

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Today's session:

Day 2
Saturday, August 20, 2022 at 09:17

Ssb Split Squat
Set 1: 95 lb × 6
Set 2: 95 lb × 6
Set 3: 95 lb × 6
Set 4: 95 lb × 6
Set 5: 95 lb × 14
Set 6: 95 lb × 14

Kroc Rows
Set 1: 88 lb × 5
Set 2: 88 lb × 5
Set 3: 88 lb × 5
Set 4: 88 lb × 5
Set 5: 88 lb × 20
Set 6: 88 lb × 20

Seated Leg Curl (Machine)
Set 1: 90 lb × 10
Set 2: 110 lb × 10
Set 3: 150 lb × 14

Weighted Dips
Set 1: 20 lb × 8
Set 2: 20 lb × 8
Set 3: 20 lb × 16

Seated Fat Bell Dual Arm Snatch
Set 1: 26 lb × 35

Notes: 2 mins constant work

Workout Notes: Posterior - Delts - Chest - Finisher
 

Fvckinashman

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Today:

Day 3
Monday, August 22, 2022 at 12:52

Slight Incline Bench Press
Set 1: 185 lb × 3
Set 2: 205 lb × 3
Set 3: 225 lb × 12

Neutral Grip Chin-up
Set 1: +35 lb × 3
Set 2: +40 lb × 3
Set 3: +40 lb × 8

Heels Elevated Goblet Squat
Set 1: 53 lb × 10
Set 2: 53 lb × 12
Set 3: 53 lb × 15

Shoulder Shocker
Set 1: 15 lb × 8
Set 2: 15 lb × 8
Set 3: 15 lb × 8

Rope Hammer Curl w/ Supination
Set 1: 45 kg × 8
Set 2: 45 kg × 8
Set 3: 45 kg × 16

Push Up (Band)
Set 1: +75 lb × 8
Set 2: +75 lb × 8
Set 3: +75 lb × 12

Workout Notes: Quads - Delts - Arms - Finisher
 

Fvckinashman

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90m of BJJ last night.

This was the first time I intentionally entered something this physical since I retired from rugby in 2009.

The group was welcoming, and I was clearly the strongest person in that group by a lot, but I worked hard at NOT using my strength to overpower people for a couple of reasons:

1. This isn't my first martial art rodeo. I know damn well how this works. You come in as a noob and try to show off you will get humbled harder than you think. I have seen it, that isn't my style. Screw that
2. I want to LEARN, not rely on my strength. What good is learning if I am using my advantage in training? Use it when it matters, not when trying to get technique down.

The gym is not far from where I live in downtown KC, less than half a mile away.

I showed up, borrowed a gi, met the group, drilled some holds he was teaching, and did some work after.

I am very out of shape, but I did well for the first day.

I was exposed a lot where I know I need more work.

1. Mobility and flexibility, I will gladly take suggestions. That isn't my forte.
2. Cardio. Yea.... ugh
3. More lateral movement strength. So I am thinking lateral lunges are going to be worked in my program quite a bit.

I enjoyed it. I loved feeling athletic again. I loved how welcoming everyone was. I am the oldest person in that group by about 15-16 years. The instructor is the gym owner, David Vava, who is a superb teacher and extremely positive to the group, very patient, and you can tell he cares a lot by how he engages with everyone. I can learn from that because I am very "dark" at times and don't want to be in how I express myself to my clients and gym members.

I left the class at 8:30 when it was over, went to the desk, signed up, came home, ordered a gi, got some food, a very hot shower, went to bed, and here I am at 5:30am sitting in my gym feeling like a bus legit ran me over.

I miss that feeling. Not from weights, but from something physical as hell.

I am going to enjoy this new journey, right now I need this.
 

CJ

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90m of BJJ last night.

This was the first time I intentionally entered something this physical since I retired from rugby in 2009.

The group was welcoming, and I was clearly the strongest person in that group by a lot, but I worked hard at NOT using my strength to overpower people for a couple of reasons:

1. This isn't my first martial art rodeo. I know damn well how this works. You come in as a noob and try to show off you will get humbled harder than you think. I have seen it, that isn't my style. Screw that
2. I want to LEARN, not rely on my strength. What good is learning if I am using my advantage in training? Use it when it matters, not when trying to get technique down.

The gym is not far from where I live in downtown KC, less than half a mile away.

I showed up, borrowed a gi, met the group, drilled some holds he was teaching, and did some work after.

I am very out of shape, but I did well for the first day.

I was exposed a lot where I know I need more work.

1. Mobility and flexibility, I will gladly take suggestions. That isn't my forte.
2. Cardio. Yea.... ugh
3. More lateral movement strength. So I am thinking lateral lunges are going to be worked in my program quite a bit.

I enjoyed it. I loved feeling athletic again. I loved how welcoming everyone was. I am the oldest person in that group by about 15-16 years. The instructor is the gym owner, David Vava, who is a superb teacher and extremely positive to the group, very patient, and you can tell he cares a lot by how he engages with everyone. I can learn from that because I am very "dark" at times and don't want to be in how I express myself to my clients and gym members.

I left the class at 8:30 when it was over, went to the desk, signed up, came home, ordered a gi, got some food, a very hot shower, went to bed, and here I am at 5:30am sitting in my gym feeling like a bus legit ran me over.

I miss that feeling. Not from weights, but from something physical as hell.

I am going to enjoy this new journey, right now I need this.
Sounds like a great day, glad you seem to have found a potential new passion/outlet!!!
 

Fvckinashman

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Sounds like a great day, glad you seem to have found a potential new passion/outlet!!!
thank you, lifting will def be the base. I texted Brandon Lilly this AM about his BJJ training and his reply:

So bjj will be good for you 2-3x per week the first month

One way to utilize form over strength is only nasal breathe. Learn to trust instruction rather than your “go” mechanism

I train two times per day in the gym 7 days per week.

3 normal days of weights morning
3 hikes in the morning
1 mace only

7 days of bodyweight work/mobility at night

Morning session is 30-40 mins
Night is 15-20, occasionally a 30 if I’m feeling good

Hikes are moderate pace, 15-40# backpack
 

IronSoul

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thank you, lifting will def be the base. I texted Brandon Lilly this AM about his BJJ training and his reply:

So bjj will be good for you 2-3x per week the first month

One way to utilize form over strength is only nasal breathe. Learn to trust instruction rather than your “go” mechanism

I train two times per day in the gym 7 days per week.

3 normal days of weights morning
3 hikes in the morning
1 mace only

7 days of bodyweight work/mobility at night

Morning session is 30-40 mins
Night is 15-20, occasionally a 30 if I’m feeling good

Hikes are moderate pace, 15-40# backpack

You’re quite an active dude


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IronSoul

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oh that's not MY program, that is Lilly's, but I will be using some of these ideas to improve for this.

Oh haha, I was like holy shit. Pretty sure he’s from my state. Never met him but heard he’s a really cool guy


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