Emotional Damage

[dk8594]

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Lifting is therapy. David Dearth got a little dark with it but he once said, “people go to the gym to change the things they don’t like about themselves” and he wasn’t talking about arms.

Most of the biggest and strongest people i know started because someone made them feel small and weak. We all have the ability to be victims or victors.

 

[Iron1]

The riding mower is my therapy. Get out in the sun, pop in the earbuds, throw on my ear pro and buzz around the yard.

Some of it is having time to think my way through things and attempt to understand myself on a deeper level. Some of it is the cathartic act of restoring order to the chaos that is the un-mowed lawn in a "zen garden" sort of way.

I haven't learned to talk to anyone about what's troubling me but my mower is always there when I need it.

 

[notsoswoleCPA]

I deal with it in an unhealthy way, and come out the other end heathier.

Basically I blame and hate myself, whether that be because it's 100% my own fault, or because I allowed it to happen to me despite me seeing what was going on. I scrutinize and analyze what I could have done differently.

This sounds healthy, but in between all those steps is a bunch of self loathing and self hatred until I figure out how the fuck I got there in the first place.

Rumination is a bitch. I tend to do that too long when I allow certain things to happen to me. You know, like why I spent 5 years more with the ex-wife than I should have. She damn near dragged me down to her level of mental illness and beat me with experience. At least I had the gumption to eject from the situation.

Now, have I stayed in a serious relationship since October 2022? NOPE....

 

[Tx045]

The only real way to fix it is turn that finger around and point it at yourself. You've got to really dig into yourself and figure out you.

"Be tolerant with others and strict with yourself"

 

[CJ]

The only real way to fix it is turn that finger around and point it at yourself. You've got to really dig into yourself and figure out you.

"Be tolerant with others and strict with yourself"

Someone had a few fortune cookies last night.

 

[Tx045]

Someone had a few fortune cookies last night.

It's the only reason I eat there

 

[Janoy Cresva]

I try to realize that if they're willing to do this to me I wouldn't be happy in a relationship with them.

I've hurt people in the past too, the older I get the more I realize life isn't black and white and there's a lot of nuance to things. It's best not to obsess over these things, do some self reflection, learn from it and become better.

Sadly I've been much happier in my life single than in relationships.

 

[Jenn_is_Jenning]

I try to realize that if they're willing to do this to me I wouldn't be happy in a relationship with them.

This kind of thing is the most important thing for me to remind myself AND to fully believe.

Deep down, I KNOW this, but it doesn't ever seem to stop me from having feelings for them.
Changing this within myself would change a lot in my life.

 

[Big-paul]

I want to talk about something and it might be a stupid thing to ask, but sometimes things like this give me a better understanding when otherwise I'd just be in a world of confusion.

Have you ever been hurt very badly by someone?
Most people can say yes to that question.

How did you deal with it?

Have you ever badly hurt someone else?
How did you deal with the guilt from it?

I've obviously been burned in my life. But when I learn about things, I can better make peace with the situations I've been in.

For example, when I was involved with a narcissist, I could learn about the behavior and things stopped hurting because I knew it was THEM and I knew they treated everyone poorly. .

But what I can't comprehend is how someone who isn't a bad person could knowingly inflict emotional pain on another person and to not let the guilt consume them.

But back to my first question of how you dealt with it.

Were you just irritable for a while and eventually it went away? Did you have people you could hang with to distract you? Did you just lift heavy shit until it stopped feeling badly?

I've been told this isn't the place for me to have these types of discussions, but I suppose any guidance I get couldn't hurt.

It happens. My advice is to sit in the driver's seat. You determine where you go, and if someone isn't happy along the ride pull over and let them out.

If it's a woman get another one sooner rather than later. Pussy always helps get you over a heart brake.

 

[Jenn_is_Jenning]

It happens. My advice is to sit in the driver's seat. You determine where you go, and if someone isn't happy along the ride pull over and let them out.

If it's a woman get another one sooner rather than later. Pussy always helps get you over a heart brake.

TBH, I really don't think pussy is going to help my heart ache..

 

[CJ]

TBH, I really don't think pussy is going to help my heart ache..

Just like vegetables, you can't say that you don't like them until you've at least tried it.

 

[Bro Bundy]

TBH, I really don't think pussy is going to help my heart ache..

winning makes a person feel better ..Make more money get a guy that shags u silly all u need this should be a mission for you..You never know u may get lucky and find a great guy and get married

 

[Bro Bundy]

your problem is and ive told u this before your in canada..You guy voted in the biggest bitch in history of course your men suck cocks..Its only natural..Save up some loot and move to florida a real mans state ..I would have said New jersey but its all a bunch of bitches there to now

 

[eazy]

....

 

[Bro Bundy]

have you tried it?

like a groomer hahahahaha my man!

 

[Jenn_is_Jenning]

winning makes a person feel better ..Make more money get a guy that shags u silly all u need this should be a mission for you..You never know u may get lucky and find a great guy and get married

I mean, I'm fairly content with the tax bracket that I'm in right now.

I wouldn't say I feel like I'm losing.
I got a new job, new clothes that make me feel awesome, my strength and workouts are better then they've been in years, my kids all grown up now, I'm organized and on top of my shit.

I just take a million years to mend my broken heart.

And you could say the shagging thing should be easy to come by, but there's a lot of pretty feminine men around, and even though I'm not super picky, I can't get off on that shit.

The location thing is an issue.
Not just Canada I mean, but my actual town and the city that I work.

 

[1bigun11]

Once there was a girl who lost her peace of mind.
She tried finding it with science, but found nothing.
She tried finding it with analysis, but found nothing.
She tried finding it with logic, but found nothing.
Then she looked into the nothingness, and waited…..
and there she found it, attached to nothing.

 

[Bro Bundy]

I mean, I'm fairly content with the tax bracket that I'm in right now.

I wouldn't say I feel like I'm losing.
I got a new job, new clothes that make me feel awesome, my strength and workouts are better then they've been in years, my kids all grown up now, I'm organized and on top of my shit.

I just take a million years to mend my broken heart.

And you could say the shagging thing should be easy to come by, but there's a lot of pretty feminine men around, and even though I'm not super picky, I can't get off on that shit.

The location thing is an issue.
Not just Canada I mean, but my actual town and the city that I work.

I mean, I'm fairly content with the tax bracket that I'm in right now.

I wouldn't say I feel like I'm losing.
I got a new job, new clothes that make me feel awesome, my strength and workouts are better then they've been in years, my kids all grown up now, I'm organized and on top of my shit.

I just take a million years to mend my broken heart.

And you could say the shagging thing should be easy to come by, but there's a lot of pretty feminine men around, and even though I'm not super picky, I can't get off on that shit.

The location thing is an issue.
Not just Canada I mean, but my actual town and the city that I work.

move to florida it will be better for u

 

[TODAY]

Listen.

The only capital "T" truth is that you fucking die at the end.

Everything else is interpretation.

As such, learning to take yourself less seriously can be absolutely transformative.

 

[Diesel59]

move to florida it will be better for u

Do you really think Jenn would enjoy Florida?