Engagement advice.

[WFB Strongest]

Howdy fellas. Don’t have too many buddies with knowledge here so figured I’d come to you experienced guys. I’m 23 graduating from college in July. I’ve worked full time since 18 doing school online, so I already work. Moving in with my lady of 3 years next month. She works and has already graduated.

With us moving in with one another, mom is asking if I have any proposal plans in the near future. And I do believe this girl is the one. I know it. My question is just seems crazy for a guy like myself to be thinking about marriage. Been together 3 years, I should know she’s the one or not the one by now.

My question is how did you fellas know it was time? Did it just happen? The prices of rings sure are crazy these day. Anyways just feel free to comment however just wanted to see what I could get out of someone.

 

[Massacre]

You don’t know anyone until you’ve lived with them. Do that part first. If you survive then marriage could be an option.

No need to rush marriage, fuck around and end up divorced.

 

[simplesteve]

19 years with the same woman and 4 kids later I decided it was time to finally get married.

 

[Megatron28]

If she is close to your age, she is close to her peak “value” in being able to attract a mate. You however are near the bottom of your expected peak “value” in being able to attract your mate assuming you have any ambition in life. You should consider waiting to “cash in” when you are closer to your peak. When you are in your mid 30’s you should have significantly more income and assets to attract a more desirable mate and she will be able to map your trajectory better. Right now most of your “value” is based on future potential.

Just somethjng to consider if you want to be calculating.

 

[Massacre]

If she is close to your age, she is close to her peak “value” in being able to attract a mate. You however are near the bottom of your expected peak “value” in being able to attract your mate assuming you have any ambition in life. You should consider waiting to “cash in” when you are closer to your peak. When you are in your mid 30’s you should have significantly more income and assets to attract a more desirable mate and she will be able to map your trajectory better. Right now most of your “value” is based on future potential.

Just somethjng to consider if you want to be calculating.

I couldnt agree with this any more. I’d even say we dont peak until about 35-40.

 

[Bro Bundy]

Don’t do it!!

 

[ChickenLegs]

I’m 24 and married the girl I started dating when I was 18 after 4 years of dating and a little over a year of being engaged and living together. I think that living together before getting married is pretty important because there’s quite a bit that you don’t know about someone unless you live with them, luckily it worked out for me.

There’s not really a set few boxes to check off to say yes she’s the girl, but there’s a few things I would want to answer first. Is marriage something you’re both ready for at this stage in your life? Do your future goals and plans align (kids, location, roles)? And do you fully and completely trust them?

One of the top things I always was told was to know that I’m also marrying my in-laws. Fuck that, that’s not how my marriage works, I made sure to clarify that before we tied the knot

 

[CJ]

Nobody should get married until they live together first, and preferably are 30 years old.

And have a long, multi year engagement.

 

[WFB Strongest]

These are all great responses fellas. I appreciate it.

 

[Gadawg]

I got married at 26. 40 now and still deeply in love. But I just got lucky. I was a moron at 26 and you probably are too. No offense.

Live together a couple years. If that works out, then you might be ok.

 

[CJ]

Living together first is huge. I can not stress that enough.

And you're only 23, I assume she's similar age. You both will be completely different people at age 30, and at age 40. That's not a bad thing, it just is what happens, hopefully

 

[dk8594]

If you aren’t sure you want to get married, you shouldn’t get married. Period

 

[bvs]

Im not married, but ive noticed in general that living with a woman is a whole different game compared to just dating. Live together for several years first and then make the decision

My other piece of advice is get married before you have kids

 

[WFB Strongest]

Im not married, but ive noticed in general that living with a woman is a whole different game compared to just dating. Live together for several years first and then make the decision

My other piece of advice is get married before you have kids

Absolutely brother. I am also very very far away from wanting kids. Marriage I’m open too, but kids not for many years.

 

[LethalAnimal]

If you're already having premarital sex and going to be living together and don't want kids then there's not going to be any difference being married vs not being married.

 

[CJ]

Absolutely brother. I am also very very far away from wanting kids. Marriage I’m open too, but kids not for many years.

Kids make things very challenging. Solidify your relationship first before ever thinking of kids.

 

[CJ]

If you're already having premarital sex and going to be living together and don't want kids then there's not going to be any difference being married vs not being married.

Tell that to people who are divorced.

 

[LethalAnimal]

Tell that to people who are divorced.

That’s just another problem for secular people.

If you’re Catholic you can only get divorced if there’s abuse or infidelity and that usually only happens if one of the spouses isn’t Catholic anyway.

Till death do us part, not when the woman who has all the power in a secular marriage gets bored.

 

[CJ]

That’s just another problem for secular people.

If you’re Catholic you can only get divorced if there’s abuse or infidelity and that usually only happens if one of the spouses isn’t Catholic anyway.

Till death do us part, not when the woman who has all the power in a secular marriage gets bored.

Catholic or not, you can get divorced. Try telling the lawyers, judges, and spouse that it's not allowed.

 

[TeddyBear]

Wait a few years, see if you’re gay.
It’s expensive to change your mind post engagement.