Time to reflect...

ccpro

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For whatever reason I'm feeling especially sentimental this weekend. Maybe my test levels are low and the esrogen is talking, but I'm really looking at myself and my daily priorities...which seem fucked!!!! I work for the weekend and then dread the week! I don't spend enough quality time (outdoors) with the kids, I'm not setting good examples; such as being productive every chance I get, and I barely talk to old friends and distant family anymore. I seem to have a consistent variable in my life, it's I realize things just a little too late! I bitch about work and money (I've put myself where I am!), I watch too much of the idiot box and time on the computer, projects aren't getting done and when I have a day off I procrastinate all day. I'm not pround right now, I know these changes have to come from inside. I've been blessed with health, family, friends and really can't complain about a fucking thing! Now I'm whining to my Bro's. I know many of you really have your shit together and I'm proud to be in this distant circle of friends. I don't know why I'm posting, maybe just for me to see it and reflect more. Anyway, a bro in need of improvement signing off.
 

LeanHerm

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Good post bro. I went through a case of manapause myself. Watch out to much estrogen will most certainly make you grow a vagina. Ask pillar all about that. But real talk what do you feel you could do to improve these things?
 

brown1106

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Got my labs back and my estogen went from 62 to 42 in a month with taking aromasin 12.5 about every day. Does this mean the aromasin is too weak? Sorry to post it here but you guys started talking about estro and thought I would ask. For about the last week I have felt like shit, tired all the time. Will a 42 estro cause that?
 

ccpro

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Good post bro. I went through a case of manapause myself. Watch out to much estrogen will most certainly make you grow a vagina. Ask pillar all about that. But real talk what do you feel you could do to improve these things?
I just have to get up and do! I have all the right intentions late at night or first thing in the morning and by 3pm I've let the day beat me down! This conflict is what led me to trt and when my levels came back low....I was like great...a cure for premature fatigue. It has helped alot, however, I'm feeling mentally back to where I was. I've resorted to buying motivational tapes, reading books, I'm going for my sleep anea study next week. All this but I can't help but think it's just mental....and I need to kick myself in the ass! Life is passing by and I'm not contributing like I should!
 

brown1106

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Brother I can tell you first hand that if you have sleep apnea it can fuck up your whole world. If you do, you are never getting into your deep sleep because of unknowenly waking yourself up when you stop breathing. Lack of sleep will cause every bit of what you are talking about. You for damn sure would not have any motivation for anything and no amount of meds they put you on would change that. I have had it several years and use a cpap every night. It's tough to get use to but you will wear it just so you will feal good the next day. Bro I hope you make sure and do that study, your life may depend on it. If you have any questions about it, feel free to PM me..
 

Shane1974

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Uh, yea, bro.....sounds like you are "hormonal."
 

Tilltheend

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I understand the exact way you feel. It really can make you depressed. Once you start not procrastinating and you get stuff done. You will realize you do not feel guilty. And the heart ache of starting right away might feel bad, but when the task is said and done, it feels way better than waiting to do the task. I would dread going to work too. My only suggestion there is maybe find a different career? And I know as you read that you are thinking "yeah right". Because that is the way it is, trust me I know.
 

Bullseye Forever

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I just have to get up and do! I have all the right intentions late at night or first thing in the morning and by 3pm I've let the day beat me down! This conflict is what led me to trt and when my levels came back low....I was like great...a cure for premature fatigue. It has helped alot, however, I'm feeling mentally back to where I was. I've resorted to buying motivational tapes, reading books, I'm going for my sleep anea study next week. All this but I can't help but think it's just mental....and I need to kick myself in the ass! Life is passing by and I'm not contributing like I should!

ccpro, imust agree on several of you points,right now and the last 3-4 years ive been experiencing alot of what you are talking about,my problem,im a middle aged man,46.....47 in afew months,all my interest has changed,all my priorities have changed,with the eception of my family,im closer to them and i wake up everyday praying that im just alive one more day,i look back at my life and remember all the things i used to do to have fun,and have great relflections of a pretty good life,i miss it,so much,i wish i could go back,but i can,Im just suffering from male menopause,i would love to go back to my 20's,30's but im having to learn how to adjust to my new life now that it has all changed for me,

excellent thread ccpro
 

mattyice

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CCPRO... I could write a thesis on this topic after what I been thru this past year. Being aware and sharing self-actualization is a step in the right direction. Listen to your inner voice. Good luck brother.
 

Tren4Life

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Got my labs back and my estogen went from 62 to 42 in a month with taking aromasin 12.5 about every day. Does this mean the aromasin is too weak? Sorry to post it here but you guys started talking about estro and thought I would ask. For about the last week I have felt like shit, tired all the time. Will a 42 estro cause that?

If you really want answers to you questions, you should start your own thread. Its almost as easy as replying, you just need your own title.
 

Tren4Life

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ccpro, imust agree on several of you points,right now and the last 3-4 years ive been experiencing alot of what you are talking about,my problem,im a middle aged man,46.....47 in afew months,all my interest has changed,all my priorities have changed,with the eception of my family,im closer to them and i wake up everyday praying that im just alive one more day,i look back at my life and remember all the things i used to do to have fun,and have great relflections of a pretty good life,i miss it,so much,i wish i could go back,but i can,Im just suffering from male menopause,i would love to go back to my 20's,30's but im having to learn how to adjust to my new life now that it has all changed for me,

excellent thread ccpro



Same here, I am to lazy to mow my own yard. Something i used to enjoy doing, I think because I was proud of a job well done. I have projects that need to be finished also, I just would rather not spend the money at this point in my life.
The only advice i could offer is if you really want to get something done take it one day at a time so you done get overwelmed and dont make excuses for yourself. When you realize an excuse is ready to come out stop yourself and say f@#k that, Im not makeing excuses today.
 

Omegareign

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Not sure what your religious stance is ccpro. But I myself am a christian, and always try to turn it over to God in times like this. Some people don't believe in prayer, I do. And remember, its not as simple as saying 1 prayer and being done. Praying and believing and being a christian is a lot like working out. You have to be consistent and stay on course to see results. Best of luck you ccpro, and I will def say a prayer for you, so God can show you the answers you're seeking.
 

ccpro

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Great input from all, I'm taking it in and trying to stay focused. I have to make some changes and I think I reach deep down and grab my sack and stop bieng so damn selfish!
 

BigGameHunter

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What did you decide to do about starting your own company? Keep us posted.
 

ccpro

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What did you decide to do about starting your own company? Keep us posted.

It's still on the table, I've had a backer step forward and tell me he'll help with the startup. I'm a little compromised because the guy I work for holds a note of $170 on my property, so I have to be carefull not to piss him off. In other words, I think my best strategy would be to get laid off by his doing and then he couldn't blame me for doing my own thing. It's complicated, my division is profitable within the company but they see me overpaid for the amount of billing I do. Basically, I was billing out $250K a month in 05 and then the economy tanked, I cut crews and I'm currently only billing about $80K a month but it's on the upswing. The way I see it it they can bitch but I'm still netting them $15-$20k a month after all overhead is met. The owners are thinking they can step back in do my job and cut my salay/benefits. They want it all....cocksuckers!!!!
 

brown1106

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ccpro, my apologies for posting something off topic on your thread. Bad judgement on my part and I was definately not undermining your situation. No one has jumped on me for this although they should, I was just re-reading the thread and felt like shit afterwards. Again my apologies bro!
 
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