My joke of the day

[snake]

A father is walking with his son at a park when the son spots a male and female dog going at it.

Son: Daddy, what are they doing?
Dad: They are making puppies.
Son: Ow Daddy I love puppies, I want a puppy, Daddy can I have a puppy, I so much would love a puppy!

Later the next night the little boy walks by his dad’s bedroom and sees him on top of mommy.

Son: Daddy what are you doing?
Dad: We are making you a baby brother or sister.
Son: Can you turn mommy over? I’d rather have a puppy, I so much love puppies!


Feel free to add your own!

 

[DarksideSix]

hahahahahaha.

 

[DieYoungStrong]

HAHA. That was good.

 

[ECKSRATED]

Hahaha nice.

 

[Tren4Life]

Hahaha that was great. !!!

 

[italian1]

Lol. That was funny.

 

[AlphaD]

Hahaha That was a good one snake........ Jada can't make puppies...he dont like doggystyle!

 

[AlphaD]

A lonely spinster, aged 70, decided that it was time to get married. She decided to put an ad in the local paper that read: "HUSBAND WANTED, must be in my age group, must not beat me, must not run around on me, and must still be good in bed! All applicants apply in person".

On the second day she heard the doorbell. Much to her dismay she opened the door to see a grey haired gentleman sitting in a wheel chair. He had no arms or legs. The woman said "You're not really asking me to consider you, are you? Just look at you... you have no legs!" The old man smiled: "Therefore I cannot run around on you!"

She snorted: "You don't have any hands either!" Again the old man smiled "Nor can I beat you!"

She raised an eyebrow and gazed intently: "Are you still good in bed?" With that, the old gentleman beamed a broad smile: "Rang the doorbell didn't I?"

 

[ken Sass]

good 1 !!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[LeanHerm]

Lol thanks that was a funny

 

[bubbagump]

Baahaaha. Good one.

 

[Gt500face]

Hahahahhaah!!! That's funny as ****

 

[stonetag]

I love doggy style, feel like I'm in the pilot's seat.

 

[stonetag]

Speaking of no arms and no legs Alpha...
A guy with no arms and legs is lying on the beach when a beautiful blonde in a bikini walks up to him and say's "oh my gosh you must of had a terrible accident" The man replied " yes I had all my appendages blown of in the war" to which the blonde replied "you poor poor man. is there anything I can do for you" the man looked her up and down and replied" to be perfectly blunt, I would really like to get fuccked" the blonde shrugging her shoulders picked up the man and threw him in the ocean and said "ok now you're fuccked, have a nice day!"

 

[NbleSavage]

LOL@ Stonetag!! That was classic!

 

[AlphaD]

Speaking of no arms and no legs Alpha...
A gut with no arms and legs is lying on the beach when a beautiful blonde in a bikini walks up to him and say's "oh my gosh you must of had a terrible accident" The man replied " yes I had all my appendages blown of in the war" to which the blonde replied "you poor poor man. is there anything I can do for you" the man looked her up and down and replied" to be perfectly blunt, I would really like to get fuccked" the blonde shrugging her shoulders picked up the man and threw him in the ocean and said "ok now you're fuccked, have a nice day!"

Hahahahahaha! Thats a good one!

 

[Oldebull]

One of my favorites:
What did the (insert generic minority of your choice, so as not to offend anybody) kid get for his birthday?


My bike dammit!

 

[snake]

Guy goes into the doctor’s office complaining about pain in his shoulder that is shooting down his arm. Concerned, thinking he’s having a heart attack he explains his symptoms to his doctor. The doctor gives him a cup and asks him to pee in it. The doctor takes the cup and pours it into a machine, gets a paper readout. Well it looks like you have tennis elbow says the doctor. But doc, I think I’m having a heart attack! Nope, tennis elbow, that’s what the machine says so rest that arm.

Thinking the doctor is crazy he asks if he can take a cup home and try the test again in the morning; doctor agrees. Once home, to prove that this device is bullshit, he asks his wife and daughter to pee in the cup, he jerks off in it and even drips some motor oil in it from this truck.

The next morning he goes back to the doctor with the intent of show that this machine is inaccurate, give the cup to the doctor and waits. Doctor pours the contents into the machine and gets the read out. Well doc, what’s it say?

It says your wife has Chlamydia; your daughter is pregnant; your truck needs an oil change and I’m telling ya, if you keep jerking off you’re going to aggravate that tennis elbow!

 

[DieYoungStrong]

HAHA. Damn snake. 2 days in a row on-point!

 

[Oldebull]

Nice Snake. I'll see your Dr. Joke and raise you one:

An old man goes to the doctor for his yearly physical, his wife tagging along. When the doctor enters the examination room, he tells the old man, "I need a urine sample, a stool sample, and a sperm sample."
The old man, being hard of hearing, looks at his wife and yells, "WHAT? What did he say? What's he want?"
His wife yells back, "He needs your underwear."