Too Old to be Asking This

[BigSwolePump]

Forget about the first time. Anybody who said they were any good at all at sex their first time is full of shit. Just let things happen as they happen.

Speak for yourself. I was awesome!

I mean it was the best 30 seconds of my life:32 (18):

 

[TeddyBear]

Most intelligent thing I've seen in awhile.

We all like to kid around, bash idiots, and get our zingers in on most threads but there is some true wisdom in this post.


Again, you've been on a nandrolone for weeks and have not recovered yet. You are more burdened by what you were taught as a young man than anything. Naughty is sexy, if you feel what you're doing is wrong it is another contributing factor to not being able to climax.

Also, we have to remind each other that any time around a cycle (to include recovery) is no time to be making life-altering decisions. From a hormone perspective you are someone else, and the 'normal you' may not appreciate the decisions you make.

I agree and understand.

I am abstaining from jerking off, to increase my libido towards her, and to reset my sensitivity.

Last night; after quality time together for a few days with sex off the table. No pressure, just comfort and close was. Well, last night, rested. We tried Attempt 3 to success.

I will still give myself grace, I will still seek counseling.

But to joyously bust one of the largest nuts with her was a huge relief. Especially as she swore outloud, like she never does, “f***, that would have super got me pregnant. F*** that’s so much cum”. It was a thrilling experience for which I am grateful and relieved.

 

[white ape]

Good job dude. Now try anal!

 

[CohibaRobusto]

Way to go brother!

 

[rawdeal]

That woman may have created a monster!

probably just as well you didn't say "that's a big load off my mind."

 

[TeddyBear]

I said I felt a “lot of pressure released”, “I feel lighter”, and “loads better”. So close enough.

We agreed, in the future, that she doesn’t need to run to clean up. We talk in detail a lot, because we’re both analytical and direct. She said she doesn’t feel one way or the other about swallowing or spitting. She said she was glad I didn’t finish in her mouth though, because it was unexpected. Unexpected on my end too.

I told her that I felt a ton of relief, will continue to seek therapy to deal with my general anxiety. But that it was real important to me, no matter how minor or silly, to cum. I explained that it’s a weird-men’s-virility thing I needed to prove to myself and I feel better knowing now. She didn’t get it, but I’m so glad she’s happy for me despite it.

 

[rawdeal]

She'll never be able to look you in the "eye" again

 

[grizzldsealpoacher]

To old LOL. Homie I am 39 and feel like a virgin. Your blessed

 

[Trump]

Be a gent and clean her up next time with your mouth

 

[TeddyBear]

I’m gonna settle in for the long-haul, as much as I don’t want to.

It messes with your brain for sure, not performing.

Is it stress? Is it performance anxiety? Is it the nandrolone? Is is US? Is it ME? Is it “death grip syndrome” from masturbating too much for too long?

I don’t know. I added that last one because honestly, I feel nothing. I have no erogenous zones, my dick senses very little that she does. I see and hear, but feel nothing.

Im going to do this:
1. Enjoy intimacy, as best I can, knowing that whether I can or can’t orgasm isn’t the end all.
2. Make her cum. Even if I can’t feel pleasure, I can help her.
3. Abstain from masturbating. I won’t cum until she makes me.
4. Say “no” to spiraling anxious thoughts.
5. Continue with counseling through therapy
6. Continue, finish PCT, and restart natty-life

If anyone ever comes across this, I hope I’ll update in the future with tips to help anyone who feels similarly

 

[TeddyBear]

It’s been only a week, but these days weeks seem like ages.

My fiancée and I have a had a few conversations that required quite a bit of vulnerability. We’re both wrestling with insecurities and are both in touch with therapists.

She, due to past experiences, withdraws and retreats when things get messy. She’s had a broken engagement from some douche who cheated on her. Plus she admits that many women spiral negatively when they can interpret something as a shortcoming based on their appearance or body. She took my inability to finish, my apparent detachment seeming disinterest as a total lack of arousal.

I had to communicate, what she knew already, but in new context. I explained; in the span of one day I bought a house with my fiancée which was stressful already, but was naked for the first time with a woman, touched for the first time, grab a boob for the first time, grab her pussy for the first time, and got sucked. Not to mention 29 years of societal pressure to be manly/perform, personal pressure for her to like my junk, and good ol’ Christian guilt for losing my virginity.

I was trying to not panic. I couldn’t be fully aroused: I was trying to stay fully conscious of all of it.

She understood.

On Sunday, last week, 6 days ago, we tried again. This time I made her cum with my hand, which was another first, but I couldn’t finish again. I was batting .25 and feeling bad about it.

I would dwell on it for a little; think that something must be wrong with my hormones. I broke my dick with prolactin. Or my anxiety is SO bad I broke my dick.

But then I’d think about it: nah, hormones can’t be it. Hormones might be contributing, maybe to the stress.

But then I also came down on this:
1. Orgasm isn’t the end all be all of sex
2. Sex isn’t the end all be all of a married relationship
3. the first 4 sexual experiences aren’t the promise of what’s to come
4. my pressure is too great, I just need to chill

She decided that we should chill and avoid sexy time until we’re both emotionally ready. That was 6-days ago.

Well, tonight we’re about to make dinner and plan our wedding registry...
then a slow song comes on the Echo...
then I’m giving the kind of neck kisses she likes...
then we’re horizontal and she indicates I can remove her bra...
then she grabs my dick.

I will say, she definitely looked up stuff online, because this time her hand added a lot to the blow job experience.

So, we had fun. Neither of us finished, but neither of us was dissatisfied. I’m not anxious, I’m not bummed.

Its okay.

Coming to grips with that goes a long ways.

This has been like a diary for me, so sorry for the smut, but it helps to get it out.

Also, if anyone needs the encouragement:
-losing your virginity isn’t necessarily going to be a great experience
-sex is more like running than racing; there isn’t always a finish line, sometimes it’s the practice that’s better than the performance
-you can’t outthink anxiety
-if you don’t want to worry whether it’s hormones messing with your dick, don’t mess with your hormones

 

[Adrenolin]

I've never cum from a bj, ever. Sex I've both had some minute sessions, and some 2hr trenbolone/dapoxetine/whiskey fueled marathons. It's no big deal either way really... unless you started gettin a cramp and start rolling around the bed like a big baby. That sucks lol
View attachment 10970

 

[DOOM]

I've never cum from a bj, ever. Sex I've both had some minute sessions, and some 2hr trenbolone/dapoxetine/whiskey fueled marathons. It's no big deal either way really... unless you started gettin a cramp and start rolling around the bed like a big baby. That sucks lol
View attachment 10970

Wow! I’m speechless!

 

[Adrenolin]

Wow! I’m speechless!

It always makes girls eager to try.. it feels great, just don't get off from it

 

[DOOM]

It always makes girls eager to try.. it feels great, just don't get off from it

No I feel you! I don’t always get off on them either. Some girls are just go getters! Some are better and try harder then others!

 

[JAXNY]

Bro..you've got to make lemonade out of lemons.
Here's a little secret. Most guys nut way too fast and the girl is disappointed and doesn't say anything and then cheats on your ass.
Use it to your advantage and pound the shit out of her for an hour straight..have her leaving your house using a walker. Guaranteed she'll be beating down your door.

 

[JAXNY]

Btw...you see my abs, you know how I get them like that? By Fukking and not Cummings. I get a good ab workout until it burns and I go to failure.....then I do another three sets.

 

[TeddyBear]

Bro..you've got to make lemonade out of lemons.
Here's a little secret. Most guys nut way too fast and the girl is disappointed and doesn't say anything and then cheats on your ass.
Use it to your advantage and pound the shit out of her for an hour straight..have her leaving your house using a walker. Guaranteed she'll be beating down your door.

lol. I don’t have abs, so I’ll have to practice as you say.

 

[graybass]

Way over thinking this!!!!
Your just a late bloomer. It's going to be great very soon!

 

[Mandarb]

I’m 29, and I’ve been pretty sheltered and chaste my whole life.

Some of it was 90’s church sex-scare tactics; but also legitimately me deciding as an adult to wait on sex until marriage.

It wasn’t until my 20s that I began pursuing women in relationships and found that I really struggled with physical intimacy. I didn’t realize that I while I have solid relationships with my family and friends, I’m really adverse to touch. Not big on hugs or shoulder pats, etc.

With dates I would put off making moves because I wasn’t comfortable and I got nervous. Those relationships fizzled out as a result.

My current relationship has blossomed because she is experienced and very into physical touch, but she waited for me to be comfortable without pushing me away. Our first kiss, was my move, I came down with a stress crash/flu the day afterward because I was so anxious about it and then relieved afterward.

We have since progressed a lot. I feel comfortable demonstrating my affection and stuff. Friends and family have noticed and commented that I’m much more warm and affectionate to others now as I let that guard down.

Now engaged, my fiancée and I continue to progress physically at what most would consider a snails pace. But it has worked for us. She has had experiences with men who wanted only sex, so she’s glad that hasn’t been my goal.

Last night we took a big step. I stripped down at her urging and she gave me my first blow job.

This may seem minor to you, but monumental in a few ways for me. It was my first time being nude in front of a woman; my first time being touched, and first time being sucked.

I had sky-high expectations. I wanted to perform.

i stayed hard.

then we were both disappointed because I didn’t cum. We tried and tried. I tried manually. I couldn’t cum.

We were dissappointed.

But I’m really dissappointed. My first time feels like a huge let down, after all that pressure.

I need to share, I told a buddy who’s married and he told me I was overthinking it.

My fiancée and I have been texting back and forth all day. We were both nervous and disappointed but will try again soon. She felt more vulnerable than I had assumed, even though she has some experience.

I know several guys that can’t cum from just a blow job, me included. I think it’s part of my psyche of wanting to be in control of the situation.

In your case though I think it’s just nerves. My first time ever I went limp, and got hard like 5 times during the act from overthinking it. First times are rarely good, as a matter of fact I’ve never heard of a good first time.

The best thing you can do is remove expectations from the process until you get comfortable enough to finish. Let her know you enjoyed it, you want it again, and that you don’t even plan to finish. Focus on the sensations, her, and just enjoy the moment without the pressure of needing to finish or do whatever. Let her know you’re still growing in this way and it means a lot that she is helping you to open up.