TeddyBear
Tren Made Me Gay
- Joined
- Oct 19, 2020
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My boyfriend smokes pot occasionally. He hadn't been while dating me because he was applying for jobs. Now that he has a job, he resumed, behaviorally I don’t notice a change.
But growing up with a stigma around weed, I started to get anxious and nervous being around something I feared.
So rather than judge him, I wanted to give it a try myself. I was very anxious, scared, and felt guilty about it.
On Monday, we tried. A failed shotgun kiss, and I attempted two pulls on the pipe. It likely kicked in, but very minor. I only felt tingles in my face and needed to catch myself once while walking. Otherwise that’s all I noticed. It was an indica called Ice Cream.
Yesterday, Wednesday we decided to try again. This time we had a plan in place. I reviewed breathing practices, I showed up without having lunch around 3PM.
It was a sativa strain, Blue Cookies, the goal was to get high, have sex, and watch a funny movie together.
We were outside when I took my first puff, didn’t notice anything. 3:05 we took the second puff. Around 3:10 I took my third one, and he grabbed a chair for me. I didn’t think I needed it at the time. By about 3:15 I could feel time slowing down and my vision started to get tunnelly. I knew I was getting high, but I couldn’t tell how much. I envisioned riding the peak a roller coaster, I couldn’t tell how much higher it would go, so I asked for more to BE SURE I did it right this time. After all, it was an experiment for me.
He noted later, that he was beginning to het high now too and knew I was likely more so, he said he was gonna let me decide from there.
We did two more puffs and by then I started slipping. He had to be really clear with instructions because I could only manage to think 1 thing at a time and he led me inside.
I explained to him I couldn’t tell where anything was, I couldn’t see anything but moving shapes. He told me to open my eyes and then I could see again.
He led to me to bedroom where he had the LEDs and music going. Sex was like I was inside a lava lamp: just moving colors and sometimes shapes. Without too many details I know I was probably interpretive dancing.
After that, we planned to watch a movie. But I was too far gone, he didn’t let me sleep it off, so he nudged me as we I went on my trip.
I knew he was there, he talked to me and reassured me, like someone yelling down into a cave so I knew which way was up.
I kept trying to talk to him, to describe what I was experiencing but it came out as grunts and gibberish.
I really imagined it this way:
Single glowing blue pixel. Then two, then more, second by second they turned back on, soon lines, then shapes, then more colors.
He cues me to rotate, I imagine a control panel and have to relearn the controller buttons to make myself move. So I do.
Swirling shapes and colors. More lines and shapes.
At one point I’m imagining vomit rising, i fight it and I can’t tell which side of the bed I get off of and navigate a maze of two turns to get to the toilet where very little comes out. He showers me and I go back to bed.
I’m back in bed and I’m relearning language. I’m experiencing what I am convinced are my earliest incoherent infant dreams. But now I understand the symbols and shapes to represent things like: “adult”, “mom”, “dad”, “food”, “my penis”. Yeah, I went full Freud, it was like I unlocked childhood comprehension of life.
My boyfriend says something like; “stay with me, hey, you’re okay, it’s been an hour.”
That puts me in a panic. Like a spelunker who needs to get out of the cave before it closes in. I start repeating mantras like “get out”, “wake up”, “get to the top”.
I feel like there are hundreds of paper walls Japanese style between me and reality and I start running through them upward. Each one I jerk my whole body like I woke from a falling dream. My eyes roll back into my head.
I begin repeating myself to my boyfriend, because with each layer I feel a little more conscious and can’t tell if I was successful in conveying my message the previous layer. I keep telling him “I’m coming up through the layers”.
Layer after layer, my eyes spring open, i deep breath to force air back into myself. A few times I spring up exorcism style to shake it off before falling to the layers.
Eventually the time between passing layers is slower and slower and I wake. Extremely extremely tired and lethargic. 4PM to 9PM was this experience. I was only confidently awake enough to drive home at 1 AM.
My experiment was a success, I got high and survived. It wasn’t a negative experience, there were parts that were scary because I knew I had no control at all over my safety. I trusted my boyfriend though. I couldn’t stand in the shower, I needed him to rotate me, to pin me down as I flailed out of a layer, and to feed me when I came out of it (as in, he brought the food to the table because u could stand straight).
He claims it was the single best sex of his life and he’s so thankful to me. I’m waking today and feel like I survived a flu because I’m so worn out.
I don’t think I want to get that high again, it was so much, I don’t know if my brain could take the INCEPTION levels of reality I flew through. We both agreed that neither of us needs or wants other drugs, especially seeing as how intense that was for me.
But growing up with a stigma around weed, I started to get anxious and nervous being around something I feared.
So rather than judge him, I wanted to give it a try myself. I was very anxious, scared, and felt guilty about it.
On Monday, we tried. A failed shotgun kiss, and I attempted two pulls on the pipe. It likely kicked in, but very minor. I only felt tingles in my face and needed to catch myself once while walking. Otherwise that’s all I noticed. It was an indica called Ice Cream.
Yesterday, Wednesday we decided to try again. This time we had a plan in place. I reviewed breathing practices, I showed up without having lunch around 3PM.
It was a sativa strain, Blue Cookies, the goal was to get high, have sex, and watch a funny movie together.
We were outside when I took my first puff, didn’t notice anything. 3:05 we took the second puff. Around 3:10 I took my third one, and he grabbed a chair for me. I didn’t think I needed it at the time. By about 3:15 I could feel time slowing down and my vision started to get tunnelly. I knew I was getting high, but I couldn’t tell how much. I envisioned riding the peak a roller coaster, I couldn’t tell how much higher it would go, so I asked for more to BE SURE I did it right this time. After all, it was an experiment for me.
He noted later, that he was beginning to het high now too and knew I was likely more so, he said he was gonna let me decide from there.
We did two more puffs and by then I started slipping. He had to be really clear with instructions because I could only manage to think 1 thing at a time and he led me inside.
I explained to him I couldn’t tell where anything was, I couldn’t see anything but moving shapes. He told me to open my eyes and then I could see again.
He led to me to bedroom where he had the LEDs and music going. Sex was like I was inside a lava lamp: just moving colors and sometimes shapes. Without too many details I know I was probably interpretive dancing.
After that, we planned to watch a movie. But I was too far gone, he didn’t let me sleep it off, so he nudged me as we I went on my trip.
I knew he was there, he talked to me and reassured me, like someone yelling down into a cave so I knew which way was up.
I kept trying to talk to him, to describe what I was experiencing but it came out as grunts and gibberish.
I really imagined it this way:
Single glowing blue pixel. Then two, then more, second by second they turned back on, soon lines, then shapes, then more colors.
He cues me to rotate, I imagine a control panel and have to relearn the controller buttons to make myself move. So I do.
Swirling shapes and colors. More lines and shapes.
At one point I’m imagining vomit rising, i fight it and I can’t tell which side of the bed I get off of and navigate a maze of two turns to get to the toilet where very little comes out. He showers me and I go back to bed.
I’m back in bed and I’m relearning language. I’m experiencing what I am convinced are my earliest incoherent infant dreams. But now I understand the symbols and shapes to represent things like: “adult”, “mom”, “dad”, “food”, “my penis”. Yeah, I went full Freud, it was like I unlocked childhood comprehension of life.
My boyfriend says something like; “stay with me, hey, you’re okay, it’s been an hour.”
That puts me in a panic. Like a spelunker who needs to get out of the cave before it closes in. I start repeating mantras like “get out”, “wake up”, “get to the top”.
I feel like there are hundreds of paper walls Japanese style between me and reality and I start running through them upward. Each one I jerk my whole body like I woke from a falling dream. My eyes roll back into my head.
I begin repeating myself to my boyfriend, because with each layer I feel a little more conscious and can’t tell if I was successful in conveying my message the previous layer. I keep telling him “I’m coming up through the layers”.
Layer after layer, my eyes spring open, i deep breath to force air back into myself. A few times I spring up exorcism style to shake it off before falling to the layers.
Eventually the time between passing layers is slower and slower and I wake. Extremely extremely tired and lethargic. 4PM to 9PM was this experience. I was only confidently awake enough to drive home at 1 AM.
My experiment was a success, I got high and survived. It wasn’t a negative experience, there were parts that were scary because I knew I had no control at all over my safety. I trusted my boyfriend though. I couldn’t stand in the shower, I needed him to rotate me, to pin me down as I flailed out of a layer, and to feed me when I came out of it (as in, he brought the food to the table because u could stand straight).
He claims it was the single best sex of his life and he’s so thankful to me. I’m waking today and feel like I survived a flu because I’m so worn out.
I don’t think I want to get that high again, it was so much, I don’t know if my brain could take the INCEPTION levels of reality I flew through. We both agreed that neither of us needs or wants other drugs, especially seeing as how intense that was for me.
.
