Ex IV drug addict: AMA

[Gabriel]

7 months off those drugs is a great achievement.. I've had my time in that hole..Many people fall to drugs for thousands of reasons and never return..You just being free is a statement to all suffering..At least to me Brother..

Life can be beautiful or hell..it is what you make of it.. Breaking free of what leads you to use is the real challenge..Iron..running..painting..hell whatever it takes to get you out of that hole..is better than wasting away..

Great job..great thread..

 

[nightster]

Congrats on the 7 months!!
Still early though, so please don't get over confident.

 

[DieYoungStrong]

Congrats on 7 mos. Thankfully I never got into heroin, but I have a lot of dead friends and family members. I have quite a few family members who are in recovery now. Most of them took quite a few relapses before they kicked for good.

7 months is still very new. Work the program and stay in the gym. But now is the time to work on recovery, and no just trade dope for juice. I've seen that happen with more then a handful of guys - at the end of the day, it generally doesn't work out for them.

Good luck.

 

[Sickman]

Can you remember the factors that began the journey down the dark road? If you could talk to new users, what would you tell them to look out for? Obviously never start is the answer. But.....

If you knew a 17yo kid who was graduating from Loricet to Oxy and then so on. What would you say to him?

This is very similar to how my addiction started and escalated. It started with prescribed weak opiates for my lower back, then graduated to Roxy's I was getting off the street.

What really started my habit, especially the IV part, was I had a coworker whose wife had hundreds of oxys, and they used to sell me the whole script once a month. This is how my habit truly took off. I started selling them and taking them daily. Then she got switched to dilaudid, which is worthless unless injected. So, by that point, I was already getting sick with out Roxy's, and couldn't get rid of the withdrawals by doing the dilaudids unless I injected it. After that point, all bets were off. Then my pill dealer went to prison and I still had the opioid addiction, so I switched to heroin. The meth and crack started a year or 2 in because I was around it a lot, and was just trying to be as numb as possible, so I'd do it.

But if I was to warn someone who might be going down my path, I'd say do not ever, ever, ever, shoot up. Because it's a million times more addictive that way. I'd also tell them to listen to their friends and family, and if someone says they have a drug issue, then don't go into denial or get defensive. Also, I'd tell them they've only got about 5 days to a week of daily using before they start getting dope sick. Once you're dope sick, you're fully hooked as nd there's no going back until you go to rehab or detox. One of the main driving factors of my addiction was the crippling dope sickness that literally felt like death was imminent

 

[DOOM]

Yeah I lost my best friend and my sister too overdose/suicides from pharma opioid abuse.

I previously mentioned all of this in a suicide prevention thread earlier this year and Jin banned me from the thread because he thought I was being too much of a dick to others who had lost people to suicide. Anyway water under the bridge!

I am glad you didn’t end up like them.. I am glad you made it to the other side and that your current goal is to help other’s that are suffering.

 

[DOOM]

Yeah I lost my best friend and my sister too overdose/suicides from pharma opioid abuse.

I previously mentioned all of this in a suicide prevention thread earlier this year and Jin banned me from the thread because he thought I was being too much of a dick to others who had lost people to suicide. Anyway water under the bridge!

I am glad you didn’t end up like them.. I am glad you made it to the other side and that your current goal is to help other’s that are suffering.

Jin also just censored my statement in this thread. I’m not sure what his problem is? Definitely wasn’t being a dick like he claims. Why would I mention the lost of my best friend and sister while being a dick to others that have lost loved ones. Believe what you want!

I don’t have access to the thread I’m sure he has the power to censor that thread like he censored this one.

Either way good on you sickman!

 

[Sickman]

Thanks for the support guys. It means a lot. I know 7 months is still relatively new to recovery. But I've exceeded my former attempts at getting clean by months. The longest I made it before this, was 2 months. I'm feeling more confident than I ever have about staying clean for the rest of my life.

I'm at work on break. I'll answer more questions when I'm off.

All of you are amazing

 

[Kellkell26]

Thanks for the support guys. It means a lot. I know 7 months is still relatively new to recovery. But I've exceeded my former attempts at getting clean by months. The longest I made it before this, was 2 months. I'm feeling more confident than I ever have about staying clean for the rest of my life.

I'm at work on break. I'll answer more questions when I'm off.

All of you are amazing

Keep up the positive mindset! On tough days just remember how far you've come and keep setting small and long term goals awesome job!

 

[Straight30weight]

Fwiw man you've done well. Incredibly well. And then to into your fitness is equally impressive. I cant imagine what that was like, to fight that addiction every day.

I have plenty of my own demons and I won't allow myself to even try weed. I know for me it'd be game over. I'd get that escape from my mind and id go all in. Glad you got out.

 

[Adrenolin]

The physical pain I deal with comes from a sledding injury I had when I was 5 years old. I crashed into a ditch and cracked my l4 and l5, and it is deformed now. So I self medicated with prescription opiates which eventually ran out, which then led to heroin

I feel that on the broken vertbra. Broke my L4 in half and herniated the discs above and beneath in a triple digit crash in 2015. I'm prescribed 75mcg/hr fentanyl patch. I use it rarely, only when the pain prevents me from wanting to even get out of bed, and I can only use it because I only work 3-4 days a week, and am required to be off it at least 24hrs before reporting back to work. I can't wear it much longer than 3 days anyways.. starts making me nauseous.

 

[Deadhead]

Heroine is hell

 

[BigSwolePump]

I don't really have any questions.

My comment would be, if talking about an addiction is a way to keep you from doing something stupid like shooting heroin into your body on purpose then by all means talk away.

Junkies are a burden on everyone around them from their family to society as a whole. I would rather shoot myself then do something that stupid.

I have absolutely no sympathy for a user but have the upmost respect for those who wake up after realizing that they are fuking up and make the decision to take life by the horns and to not hurt everyone around them by being a selfish piece of shit. One of the the most admirable things a person can do IMO is to fix themselves after they are broken.

Congrats on the 7 months. Keep going forward. All the best.

 

[tinymk]

Congrats brother on clawing yourself out and staying clean... keep up the great work

 

[dragon1952]

Why? Everyone knows how bad drugs can be. Literally everyone. So why start in the first place?

I apologize if that sounds harsh, I absolutely don't mean it to. I'm genuinely curious.

Oh but if everyone analyzed the pros and cons of every decision they make and used Vulcan logic. Actually, it would be kinda boring but maybe we wouldn't have alcoholics and drug addicts and serial killers. And certainly no steroid users ;^ )

 

[Sickman]

Going to stick with the heroin side of things so please answer from that perspective.

Dealers: do they usually use heroin as well?

Nodding off: what are you experiencing? Is it pleasant? Doesn’t look pleasant.

Some people go work after a fix and some pass out on a floor. What’s the difference?

Do you want to have sex after a fix? Are you able to? Have you? How was it?

Injection/infections: are they common? Please confirm nobody gives a shit about sterilization.

What’s the worst part about being addicted to IV drugs?

I’m sure I’ll have more questions.

Thank you for posting this.

Jin you had some good questions,

If a dealer does heroin, their days are numbered. They will get too strung out on their own product and not make any money, and end up robbing/ripping off customers and just become another junkie.

As far as nodding off goes, it's just a side effect of using opioids. I personally didn't like when I got that way, it made me too vulnerable around people who wanted to rob me. Not just that, I've nodded off before and smashed my face into the floor, and busted my lips and blacked my eyes.

The people who can work after a fix usually are like that because their tolerance is so high they no longer nod, they only use to not be dope sick. I was like that before I quit.

Sex goes out the window while on opioids. I went 2 years one time without it. You can't get an erection. You can't orgasm. It's like chemical castration. It's one of the worst side effects men get from them. Zero libido. Long term heroin use can lower a man's test levels to double or single digits. It's a nightmare.

Infections and abscesses can be common. I had endocarditis in 2017. Basically it's the worst case scenario from using IV drugs. I got MRSA in my heart and it basically started eating it, I was hospitalized for 2 months and in a coma for 3 weeks. The sickest I've ever been. I've also had sepsis twice from dirty needles and contracted hep c, but my body fought it off. I truly am lucky to be alive.

The worst part of using is the dope sickness. Imagine the worst sickest stomach flu you've ever had and multiply it by 1000, and then mix it with a panic attack for 2 weeks. It's hell on earth. After I got physically addicted to it, I didn't use to get high, I used to not be sick.

The other worst thing about it is how it affected my family and friends. And the things I've done to myself and others for just one more fix. It's caused me to be stuck in a cycle of guilt and shame, but I've really been working on that and talking to a counselor weekly

 

[Sickman]

Do you believe addiction to heroin is a "disease" or a "choice"? ive heard both from former users. I mean we can be addicted to anything and its almost always linked to mental health problems/poor coping mechanisms. But then again the addict chose to use, chose to forgo help and when they do stop, its their choice to do so? Just curious about your take. Keep up the good work! Make 2021 your time to shine!

I haven't quite made up my mind on it being a disease or choice yet. There's definitely a genetic component to it. Almost every member of my immediate and extended family are alcoholics or addicts. I think once someone is at the point that they get withdrawals without it, then they no longer have a choice. Your brain puts it into the same category as food and water, and you are pretty much on autopilot until you get your fix.

That being said, relapse is a choice. The times that I was detoxed, and no longer was having withdrawals, and yet chose to restart that cycle of using and sickness, was all made consciously by my own stupidity, selfishness, and insane delusions that I had at the time believing that I could maybe keep using it under control. I will not say that's a disease, that's a cop out. It's called being stubborn. I'll own my poor decisions unlike some addicts.

 

[Sickman]

Are you getting triggered by using syringes?

For me (also a recovering heroin addict), I don't think I could have been around syringes right after getting clean and sober. 1st time using them again without someone doing it for me in a professional setting was almost 20 years since the last time I used heroin.

I'm not triggered by it at all. One of my main triggers is hanging out with toxic people who use, especially if it's the opposite sex. Thankfully, I've totally eliminated all bad influences from my kids and started over.

 

[Sickman]

Lol idk why my phone auto corrected the word kids, I meant life. I'm relieved I have no kids at this point, because subjecting them to any of that insanity like it was done to me growing up is really terrible.

 

[Gadawg]

Dont live in the guilt world man. It doesn’t help you at all. Own what you did and just know that you can earn it all back by doing it right every single day. Eventually, people see the changes and forgive.

Another thing Ill say is that rage is a fantastic motivator. Rage against your past. Rage against your weaker self and that gremlin in there. Rage in the gym. Rage on a heavy bag til you cant hit it anymore. And know that every day it gets a **** hair easier. You got this.

 

[ATLRigger]

Sober two years here.
Keep up the good work.
So what works for you and don’t let other ppl tell you what’s going to work and what’s not going to work (for addiction...definitely let the forum tell you what to do with AAS though haha)